I was watching an old episode of Sex and the City. Remember the one where Carrie Bradshaw’s boyfriend broke up with her in a, shall we say, unique way?
“He broke up with me on a post it note!” cried Carrie to her friend Miranda.
We were aghast! How low! Couldn’t he at least have had the decency to do the dirty deed by cell phone or at least email?!
For the person who shudders at the mere thought of any type of personal contact break-up, be it post-it, email, phone, or text, there is a site that will do the dirty deed for you.
Called iDUMP4U, it operates in the same way a florist does except, instead of getting roses, your significant other gets a dumpU message personally delivered, in person or by phone, by a total stranger!
Their basic fees are: A $10 Basic Breakup, for the person who just isn't interested in being with you anymore. There is a $25 Engagement Break-off for those who have seriously reconsidered marrying you. And, finally, the $50 Divorce Call for the spouse-louse who is already seated in a lawyer's office and is not interested in negotiating a fair settlement.
People have been breaking up through various "not-having-to-be-present" means since the time of the Civil War when women did it through the infamous “Dear John” letters.
Men in the 1800's also had a way of breaking up that didn't require their presence. They were known for writing the “Dearest” letters to end unwanted relationships. No matter how kindly the words were written, both types of letters brought an abrupt end to relationships.
While email was, and to an extent, still is, a standard way to break up, the favored current trend is to do it via the text message. Now an email breakup is bad enough, but a text message? That is taking it a bit far, don't you think?
My friend received a message while she was on the treadmill at the gym. Her text alert went off, she checked her messages, and there it was: A brief, to the point, “text spelled” adios:
“we r not meant 2 b 2gether, not u, it’s me”
That’s to the point alright!
There seems to be no specific protocol for breaking up in the twenty-first century. Since we’re constantly on the move and busy with our hectic lives, breakups seem to be managed without any personal contact, or feelings, at all. Nothing kind or flowery about the sentiment; just a brief message using electronic devices. Some break-ups have even come through Facebook or Twitter.
Granted, no breakup is ever easy. We all know that. Face-to-face confrontation is hard. We have an abhorrence of scenes, shouting, crying, possible physical attacks, etc. But the simple fact is that because you did have a relationship, you should have some respect for what you had and at least break up in person if possible. It's the adult thing to do after all, right?
If you have ever experienced an email or test message breakup, I’d like to hear from you. Please post your comment at the end of this column. I’ll post your reaction and how you handled it in a future column.
Oops-got to go. My text alert just buzzed!
© 2011 Copyright Kristen Houghton
Kristen Houghton is a Lifestyle writer and the author of the book ranked in the top-selling 100 book of 2011: And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First
Kristen is in the process of editing her new book, © 2011 No Woman Diets Alone due December, 2011.
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