It seems to be a funny situation on sitcoms and in movies when the girlfriend is “turned-off” by the sloppy boyfriend.
Or maybe the guy sees the woman he once thought of as his dream girl “let herself go”. We all laugh even though, deep inside if we’re truthful with ourselves, we feel a twinge of guilt about laughing and a touch of sadness that such a situation could occur. But the problems are not just on the viewing screens big and small; they can happen in real life.
Sometimes after being together for awhile, there is a tendency to become less fastidious, in our grooming and attire. And that can spell trouble in the bedroom.
We are attracted to the person we're with for many reasons, not the least of which is their appearance. They appeal to our sense of what we like to see for our viewing pleasure. Blue eyes, brown eyes, long hair, short hair, color of hair and complexion; all play a role in what we find attractive about our mate. There is also the matter of the way they are built and the way they take care of themselves. Good grooming is not only essential hygienically but also aesthetically. We have to like what we see in front of us.
If we think back to when we were first dating, we know that we always tried to look our best for each other. Showers, deodorant and fresh breath were all essential. We wanted to show our most attractive self to our potential spouse. Sounds like a no-brainer, right? The same rituals should hold true for long-term couples.
But that's not always the case. You get "comfortable" with the other person in your life and, while comfortable can be good, it can make you less aware of what attracted him or her to you in the first place. Wearing old, ratty PJs may make you feel comfortable but it isn't an attractive sight to your partner.
Taking care of “you” is not selfish. By spending time on yourself you are showing respect and love for you, as well as respect and love for your partner. Wearing something attractive, having your hair neat and clean, taking care of your nails and hands show that you want to present yourself as someone who cares about your appearance.
Attractive is sexy. Looking good and smelling good are real turn-ons. No one wants to have sex with someone who doesn’t care how they look. Do you? Think about it. Not caring about yourself is not respecting yourself or your partner.
There certainly times when we will appear not at our best. That’s a given. You really don’t care how you look with a severe head cold or the flu but those times are exceptions as are the times when you’re totally wiped-out from your job, school, or family issues. At times like that, your partner certainly is more concerned with your well-being than anything else.
Most times you really do like to look good and have the person you're with find you sexy, gorgeous, and desirable. As human beings we need this affirmation.
It takes little effort to “keep up appearances.” Looking good makes you feel good, gives your man or woman a little eye candy, and makes them feel good too. Make the effort.
Sex and good grooming go hand in hand.
© 2012 copyright Kristen Houghton all rights reserved.
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Books by Kristen Houghton:
No Woman Diets Alone - There's Always a Man Behind Her Eating a Doughnut
And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First
Remember, Hetty? (A Short Story)
Her NEW book, Nourishing Thoughts: The Little Book of Sayings for a Healthy, Happy Life launched May 30, 2012...get your ebook copy today!