Two Day Magazine

Making Time for What Really Matters

Relationships. We all have them. Whether it be friendships, work relationships, familial relationships or romantic ones, everyone feels pulled in a million different directions on a daily basis.

Case in point, I witnessed two women over lunch (yes, I was eavesdropping) discussing how they can’t seem to find time for their lovers.  They had so much going on, with school, work, kids, family, friends, etc., that their partners seemed to take a backseat. The one friend even joked that she needs to start scheduling when they can find time for sex.

We have reached the point of no return. When did our lives get so overwhelming, that something as wonderful as sex with your lover has taken a backseat to the other aspects of life? The “I’ll get to that later” attitude is easy to use as an excuse for why you may not be feeling quite so in the mood for love.

De-stressing is the first step to reclaiming your love life. When one is stressed, it is easy to become overwhelmed and disillusioned by the prospect of going out and finding a lover, or increasing your time with your lover. Just by practicing deep breathing, daily meditation, or simple yoga stretches can all help to calm your nerves and clear your mind.

Re-organization can also help to put your life back in order, allowing you to reclaim “lost time” to put towards your romantic life that was otherwise being used inefficiently. Buy a daily planner, utilize the scheduling programs on your phone or computer and help get your life back on track. Creating a sense of routine will eliminate a lot of the fears and worries you may have about being never having “enough time” for yourself or your lover.

Ask for help. Perhaps you really just need an hour to breathe, an hour to reconnect with yourself. Doing so can help to put things back into perspective and allow you to focus your energies on what needs to be done so that you can free time up for fun things, like a Saturday night date. If a friend or family member can help to ease your stress, whether just by talking on the phone or asking them to run an errand for you (use that sparingly!) then allow them to help. (They aren’t servants, but if you are in a bind, it never hurts to reach out.)

Learn to say NO. Sometimes, we feel as though we have so much on our plate, what’s wrong with adding more? Learning to say “no” is the first step to understanding that you are a human, not a super hero, that everyone has limits, and that it is okay to say, “I wish I could do that for you, but right now, I just don’t have the time.”

When you are with your lover, enjoy the moment. Relish in your time with the person you are dating. There is nothing wrong with sitting around and doing nothing together. Just relaxing, reconnecting on a mental level, as well as physical, can really do wonders for your intimate bond.

Remember, love and romance are important, meaningful and fun aspects of living. Being with a lover shouldn’t be thought of as a chore, or as a waste of your time. Going to work, running errands, dealing with daily stresses can all skew our perspective on what is really important in life. It’s okay to want a little fun in your days. Life is for experiencing, enjoying and loving. Why put yourself in a situation where you can’t stop and smell the roses?