Cupid’s arrow has horrible aim in the online dating world.
I refuse to respond to a message that begins “What yo name izz". "Hidin fro yo ass" I was tempted to write back but managed some restraint and blocked him, instead. Before I did I noticed he was rated as 77% 'enemy'. So this dating site thinks someone that is rated as 77% my enemy is someone I want to date? What does ‘enemy’ even mean? I didn't know my ex was on here; I’m playing, of course.
Another favorite was the man who answered the question, "What are you doing with your life?” by stating the city he lives in. Perhaps I shouldn't have blocked the creative speller so fast.
Even better, someone who was one of my highest rated matches was apparently only there to spew his personal disgust. Why on earth would it think I, or any woman, would want someone who wrote an entire manifesto (his words) on how he despises women but has always respected them? That he is so wonderful and pure but please don't message him. That's my 0% enemy/83% match? I really can’t wait to see my friend who recommended this site. Or one better, meet whoever she met on here.
Still at the drawing board, I realized this week I will have been single for four months now. FOUR MONTHS. I really can’t remember the last time I was ever single this long. I’m always at least partially involved with someone. What happened to the good old days when I met guys late at night in smoke filled bars; hanging off a barstool as nature intended?
Now it seems the only shots I take are that of espresso. If the dogs didn’t wake me up at 6:30 am every day, maybe I could stay awake past 11pm one of these nights. Not that I really miss those days. Having been a bartender for years, in addition to frequenting bars and clubs, I am quite in agreement with the statement, "You meet drunks in bars."
As the mainstream dating sites fail me, it occurs to me to try some that are more specific. They have them for everything: Age, race, Christian singles, Jewish singles, vegan dating, fitness singles, you name it. The one I found the most offensive was the over-thirty singles site. Offensive because in about two weeks I qualify for it. I mean really, how hard should it be to find a funny, tall, dog loving, anti-smoking, English speaking, successful Cirque performer? I hear about women all the time who have list of 50 or even more ‘must-haves’. That was only 6. At this point, there is only one harmonious site left that I would still be interested in trying but I am holding off for now. Last resort if you will.
Meanwhile I did go on a date. A nice lunch date as a matter of fact. It was then I realized it had been a while since I had gone on an actual date. The food was enjoyable, as was the company, and afterwards we walked around by the water. We were only a few miles from my house, but I had never been down to the water before. I like trying something new with someone new. Afterwards, we went back to my house and he just couldn’t help himself. While I was busy letting my dogs out, Scott cleaned my kitchen and put my dishes away.
I guess it’s back to the drawing board?
twoday magazine wants to know: Should Kimmie get involved with her friend, Scott, or should she keep looking for love online? Share your thoughts on our Facebook page.
Follow @twodaymag on Twitter.
Kimmie is a graphic designer, full time dog-mom and aspiring aerialist. You can keep up with her craziness on her blog life-withdogs.blogspot.com and follow her on Twitter at @lifewithdoggies.
Like this article from Kimmie? Check out other great pieces for twodaymag: