I finally had a good date!
With a great guy! I met him online and the more I got to know him, the more I liked him. The more I liked him, the more it became a quest of, sooooo really, what’s wrong with you? I likened him to ordering your breakfast via room service the night before at a fancy hotel. Coffee? Decaf or regular? Cream or sugar or both? Eggs? Boiled, scrambled or fried? Every choice imaginable and all you had to do was pick your selection. You could then sleep easy knowing confidently it would be delivered the next morning.
OK, so he wasn’t perfect and granted I didn’t know him that well. After he took me out to dinner I decided to stop questioning and just roll with it. I live my life genuinely trying to take things as they are, not how I want them to be...but with the expectation of good. I use this approach with my aerial training and my writing, as well. If it goes somewhere great, if not that’s fine, too. I’d be spending my time doing something I enjoy so in my mind that’s time well spent.
But then, and I’m so sorry but there is a ‘but’ to this story. But then, after another week of more talking I did the unthinkable; I asked if he wanted to hang out again. Not for a relationship, not to hook up, not even for another “date", simply to hang out. And so, the downward spiral began. I finally discovered his one glaring and insurmountable defect. Six words so commonly true they made a movie about it. He’s just not that into you; in this case: Me. Ouch. As those words flittered through my mind, the more fitting they became.
Now I don’t run my love life play by play by anyone, as I trust myself and my judgment. But I have a friend at work, JR, who usually gets the bullet point version. After a quick recap, without me voicing my fear he said, “Yeah, he’s just not that into you.”
“No!” I exclaimed as he laughed, “I told myself that yesterday.”
Laughing, I clutched my chest dramatically and cried out, “Oh it hurts! It hurts when you say it!”
As our laughing subsided, I put on my sneaky little grin and I asked, “So you don’t think...”
“No,” he interrupted me before I even suggested a possible explanation.
“And he’s a lame-ass."
I smiled, JR really is a great guy and has been an especially good friend to me.
“Thank you," I sighed and toddled my bruised little ego back downstairs to my desk.
Fortunately my self esteem is in check, so none of the picking-apart-scrutinizing I recall from my insecure early twenties. I like to believe that people are put into my life for a reason, regardless of how long or short the season. It could be as simple as making me laugh that day, or practicing my patience or maybe they needed to learn something from me. I recently read of those we encounter some are blessings and some our lessons. I would say the guy I met online was a little of both. The blessing was I actually liked him! Which means I am capable of liking someone else! And the lesson is, next time I am circling my room service order, right after coffee with cream, I'll be sure to circle 'He's just TOTALLY that into you'.
Despite having a good experience from online dating, I've decided to take a break from the online stuff for a bit and try something a little more conventional. Check back next week to see who I'm "prowling" around with!
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