Two Day Magazine

‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.’—Charlie Brown

Long-Distance relationships. Most people say they just can’t be done. When the partners go their separate ways, the death knell sounds, and the relationship dies. But, is it the distance killing the friendship, or something else altogether?

Charlie Brown is right. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, but the rest of you can pine away to nothing if careful attention isn’t paid to you, first, and your partner, second. What!

Yes. You come first. You came into your relationship as a whole person (hopefully), and you will only maintain a healthy relationship with your loved one if you maintain yourself as a whole person. Don’t lose yourself in the other person! If you are truly mature enough to create a partnership with another person, then you will already have outside interests that invigorate you, make you passionate, and give meaning to your life. By all means, keep these going! They will continue to be your lifeblood whether your partner is physically with you or not. 

So, you are separated for the time being. Sad, yes, and true, the shorter times are easier to deal with. One or two weeks can be hard--but try four months, six months, or even a year! It does happen, and fairly regularly, that couples are forced into undesired separation for many months at a time. How do they deal with this blow to their friendship? There are four rules of thumb to follow closely.