The answer to the above title goes as follows; I have no freaking idea.
Day in and day out, I see young, attractive, intelligent young ladies go for weekends with nary a gentleman caller in sight. We still have fun, to be sure—we amuse ourselves with movies and dinners and the occasional trip to the museum…
But we’re in college, isn’t this the famed time in which there is a suitor in every club, a handsome grad student in every Starbucks, a Mr. Darcy in every English lit class, stuffy, proud, arrogant, but who breaks after reading your beautiful analysis of women’s roles in Thomas Hardy novels, admitting to you how he ardently loves you but at the same time voicing his reservations on your family’s station in life? Perhaps a more prudent question; am I the only person who actually harbors this fantasy?
Regardless, all of the movies, from “The Prince and Me” to “Good Will Hunting” to “Old School” display the same scenario that you will meet that special someone in and or around a place of higher learning—whether they be a Prince, or a upper class British girl, or an old high school flame, love is found at college.
Oh, and beer is often there too. As well as casual sex that never harbors any consequences. And streakers circa 1974. Also, frat parties are actually fun and not stressful/sexually threatening.
But love is mostly there, just hangin’ out, getting a general degree in like, classics or something, smoking a joint, trying to get all deep for their philosophy class, waiting for you to pass on by and give it meaning.
Try to mention the fact that you and your partner of choice are high school sweethearts and everyone cringes and fears for your future; but a college sweetheart? That’s some serious stuff right there. That’s like, where you find your LIFE PARTNER. The yin to your yang, the Bonnie to your Clyde, the Chippen to your Dale! Didn’t you say you met them in your English lit class, and he like, read your essays and then wrote his number down one of them? That’s like, straight lifetime movie material right there.
Except that none of that ever actually happens. That guy does not exist. And if he did, I would know, because I would have been on that in a second, dropping my pencil so he’d have to pick it up for me than chickening out at the last second and picking it up myself, trying to start a conversation with him about the weather but when I actually begin to talk to him get scared again and pretend I was singing show tunes to myself, you know, lay on my smooth moves that no man except all of them can resist.
Don’t get me wrong, I know girls who have been in relationships with guys that they met at school—but it’s a much smaller percentage than you would think. Or at least, it’s a lot less than I did.
Here’s the honest truth from where I sit, which granted, is an uncomfortable desk chair in my freezing dorm room, but anyway, there are two extremes that college kids fall into; there are those who go and engage in frivolous sexcapades, and those who don’t and get little to no action of any kind. They wait for a romance that never seems to come. And by they I mean the people I know very well. And by the people I know very well I mean myself.
So what’s going on with either me/the people around me? I believe I have found the dreaded culprit.
College is represented in the movies to be two different things simultaneously: a.) The place where you become educated, find your purpose, learn to live on your own, find the love of your life, and become the person you always wanted to be, and b.) A place where you can have consequence free sex with as many people as humanly possible, party like Lindsey Lohan on a Tuesday night when the moon is full, and experiment with drugs and alcohol to the point where the University takes legal action.
For many reasons, it is impossible to live out these two realities simultaneously; and quite honestly, the latter is much more glorified than the former. Growing up is for some other day, in the meantime, get a bong and grab a schlong, and let’s get this party started.
There’s just no incentive to date. If a guy wants to get carnal pleasures, he needn’t look far on a Friday night. There are many ladies who are eager and willing, which is just fine—but now, since the whole “getting to know you” part is skipped out of the whole courtship goal of copulation, I have “gotten to know” very few gents since I’ve gotten here. And that kind of bums me out. And this trend, by the by, doesn’t just apply to college, I’m hearing lots of that talk from women older than myself.
Fun fact! After hearing that little tidbit of reality, a single tear streamed down my cheek as I slowly watched romanticism die. And to all of you who think it’s my flair for dramatic that has kept me single, you’d probably be right.
Listen, I’m not the type of girl who sits around waiting for boyfriend, but you know, being that I am young, and have at long, long last, have grown out of my awkward stage, I’d like to meet some nice fellas and you know, go out for frozen yogurt or something? You know, to talk about books that you like or your opinions on the Romney campaign or your favorite Harry Potter character? Is that too much for ask?
Maybe I’m just a pessimist, but from the way I see it, nobody really dates anymore. And that’s a shame, because genuine human interaction is important. We can’t just be bumping bodies and poking each other on Facebook; there’s gotta be something in between there somewhere, if not, after a while, I suspect everything around it is going to lose its luster.
Anyway, to all you romantics, keep the dream alive—and for god sakes find each other and go on one of those elusive dates!
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