Well, it certainly helps!
You know the old saying that goes, “If you think money can’t buy you happiness, you don’t know where to shop!”
With a little twist you can change that to, “If you think money isn't crucial to having a happy relationship, then you don’t know much about love.”
Callous? Not really. There’s a grain of truth to the twisted saying. Practically speaking, money or the lack of it has a serious impact on relationships.
Why is money so important to a happy, successful relationship? It isn’t love, although it can certainly buy things that bring pleasure to a loving couple. It isn’t emotional, although lack of it can cause a tremendous amount of unpleasant emotions to be unleashed by you and your partner. Finally, it isn’t food, medicine, shelter, or transportation, or even life; yet a certain amount of it does make the first four things easier to come by and makes life itself a lot more comfortable.
Money is a dichotomy. On the one hand we pretend we don't need it to be happy. It is morally, (and in 2012, politically), correct to see wealth as a form of corruption. Yet there are very few of us who wouldn’t want to be wealthy; why else do we play the lotteries and gamble? The hope of winning is palpable and we dream of what we will do “when we hit it.” Money can purchase a whole lot of happiness.
According to researchers from The Wharton School of Business, the more money you have, the more satisfied you are with life. The “happiness effect” is based on a person’s absolute income.
Money, it has been proven, buys certain advantages and opportunities that help to enhance your personal life as well as your relationship.
Let’s face it, money is important and it has a prominent place in a relationship. In the most basic terms, having money means having a more than decent place to live, good health care, decent and adequate nutrition, and a car that doesn’t fall apart when you close the door. It means that if you fall backward, you will land on a cushion instead of concrete! Living comfortably and not extravagantly is the aim.
But money means more than just having the basics. More money means living well and having a secure safety net. The most loving of couples fight miserably when there are problems caused by lack of money. It is human nature. Fear and deprivation trigger vulnerability and that in turn triggers anger. Whether we want to or not, we tend to turn that anger onto the one we love the most. Damaged relationships occur and the love we used to feel is suddenly turning into another emotion. It is seen all the time. Happy couples with money, and used to a comfortable lifestyle, become very unhappy when that lifestyle was no longer viable. Love actually has less to do with “couple happiness” than finances and financial security.
For whatever reason, the old adage that love conquers all is not so true after all. It seems that love blooms best when there is enough financial security to protect it from harsh reality. It's not insensitive or cruel to feel money is important in a relationship. Sometimes it is very practical.
Maybe money can’t buy you love, as the Beatles sang. But what it can buy makes love a happier place to be.
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Do you agree with Kristen Houghton? Does money play more of a role in our relationships than we want to admit? Share your thoughts on twodaymag's Facebook page.
Check out other great pieces by Kristen Houghton for twodaymag:
The Delicate Art of Sleeping Together (Literally)
Books by Kristen Houghton:
No Woman Diets Alone - There's Always a Man Behind Her Eating a Doughnut
And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First
Remember, Hetty? (A Short Story)
Her NEW book, Nourishing Thoughts: The Little Book of Sayings for a Healthy, Happy Life will be launched in May of 2012.
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Agreed. The long term stresses from money troubles and lack of a stable income often cause very damaging stresses on long term relationships.
As stated, our society is very contradictory about financial success. Kids are constantly told to follow their dreams and that money is the root of all evil, yet we also quickly find out having a certain level of income in a practical occupation opens doors, creates opportunities and secures potential mates.