Two Day Magazine

Good Conversation is the Key to a Successful First Date....

So, a few days ago, I discussed what to avoid talking about on a first date. Which begs the question, “then what DO you talk about?” Well, fear not! Here are some great conversation starters that will get the energy and exchange of ideas moving between you and your date to see if there is hope for a new relationship!

A Few of Their Favorite Things

    
When you are on a first date, it is always important to find things to connect on. Ask your date what their favorite foods are, what their favorite sports are, favorite books and movies, etc. Any time you get someone to discuss something that makes them feel comfortable, you are going to get the energy flowing. This in turn will create a calm, relaxed environment for the two of you to open up about something positive and something fun to chat about. Discussing favorite foods or wines is also going to tie into what you are doing if you are at dinner together. Feel free to pick foods and drinks that you both want to share. Sharing food is not only fun, but it is intimate and will begin the development of a bonding energy between the two of you.

Travel

Discussing where you have been or where you would love to go will really give you insight into the nature of the other person. Are they a homebody or a world-traveler? Are they spontaneous or do they like to plan every detail out? What kind of weather do they prefer? Beaches or snowy mountains? Discussing your travels can be a great way to open up to your date and can lend itself to some great storytelling. This will add some spice to the conversation and let’s be honest. Talking about foreign lands and exotic adventures is definitely sexy!

Passions

Is your date a painter? Does he or she love to rollerblade? Do they volunteer somewhere or enjoy music? Learning about what your date enjoys to do on their spare time will definitely give you an idea of whether or not you have anything in common. If she speaks fluent French and you love Paris, then it seems as if this could be a good match. But, if your date has four cats and you aren’t a pet person, this also allows you to know where your differences are and whether or not they are things you want to work around or walk away from.

Family

It is always important to know what kind of background your date is coming from. It will give a lot of insight into where their life began and how it has shaped who they are. This is NOT a time to delve into reasons as to why you don’t get along with your mother or that your sibling is a raging alcoholic. This is a time to learn how many siblings your date has, funny things that you and your did as a child, what it was like growing up in whatever town or city you or they lived in. Keep this conversation light and fun, and you may learn a lot more than you anticipated about your date.

Look into the Future

You can talk about your job and your career as long as you are discussing where you want to be and not the mundane details of office life. No one needs to hear the office gossip, but it is always fascinating to see what people were planning on doing with their lives, how they ended up where they did and where they want to go for the future. This can be important because what if they have no intention of staying in the area you both live in now or that they are planning on switching career paths? It is always helpful to know these things upfront and this way you aren’t prying, you are just chatting about the future.

Bonus Tip!

Listen More than You Talk

Follow the 60-40 Rule on this date. 60% listening, 40% talking. If they really love a new book they just read or a funny story they heard on the news, let them chat about. By showing that you are a good listener, it makes you more appealing as a potential mate. You don’t interrupt, you don’t talk over them or make them feel dumb or silly about something that they said, you just listen with open ears and then respond in a positive, upbeat manner.

Remember, keeping the conversation light and fun is KEY on a first date. Get to know each other, laugh together and make the other person feel at ease. If you follow these guidelines, you will have a successful date and the promise for another in your future!