Two Day Magazine

Technology has changed the way people interact.

We are able now to be in contact with just about anyone, anywhere. Information about everything is at our fingertips at any hour. The internet in particular has revolutionized social norms, even so far as to transform the necessary process of dating into something that can be done from afar without accountability.

Of course, there are many benefits to dating through the internet. For example, online dating allows people to meet others they otherwise would never have the opportunity to encounter. Or, for shy people who struggle with making first impressions, online dating allows for safe, comfortable encounters without all the pressure.

However, the pressure and discomfort of dating, as well as the ability to get to know others reasonably close in proximity to you without calling it “dating” from the get-go, are healthy and natural. Without these normal challenges, dating develops new risks and difficulties. People practicing online dating must beware of major mistakes which can ruin the new, technology-fueled social experience for themselves and others.

Among the worst mistakes to be made in online dating is lying. At the same time, believing that everything another person says online is naïve.  Often people set their expectations of others in online dating based on photos and basic information. This can lead to confusion and frustration as many people will post the best photos they have of themselves –many of them from years ago, or special events. These do not accurately represent a person, but most people choose to perceive and market themselves as they are at their best, not on a daily basis.

In basic profile information, many men lie about their height and income, even just slightly, in order to better catch the attention of potential dates. Women often lie about their weight and figure to come across as more attractive.

Another major mistake people making in online dating is falling in love too quickly based on stated compatibility. Because of the pressure-relieving atmosphere of online dating, as well as the distance between people’s daily lives, it easy to convince yourself that you and a person you’ve been talking to were meant to be because you have so much in common and your conversations always go well.

At that point, it is simple to call the feeling of hope that this person fits with you “love”, and move along quickly through the dating process as if it were real. Then, when issues arise and you’ve made major life changes to be with this other person, it is just as easy for the relationship to fall apart, having been grounded in so little of reality.

There are other mistakes which may seem like common sense, but ought to be mentioned anyway. First, people sometimes give away very personal information that allows others to take advantage of or harm them. Similarly, people sometimes choose to meet up in private places where their date can get away with murder –literally! Otherwise, there are less extreme dangers, like assuming a connection is there without communicating that well, leading to heartache. All told, online dating carries with it risks and many potential mistakes. For anyone about to try it, keep friends and family involved, be cautious and honest, and take it slow!

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Evelyn Harris works at Find My Kiss in various roles including marketing and writing. She enjoys life to its fullest and particularly enjoys dancing, clubbing and meeting new people. Find My Kiss is an online dating site for Houston, New York City and Los Angeles singles and everyone in between.