Love can sometimes feel inconvenient.
It can come at a time when we have so much going on already that we don’t see how we can possibly fit it into our life. Love invades our thoughts, skews our plans, and causes us to lose all sense of rationale. We can get so wrapped up in the idea of this person that everything else seems to come to a complete stop. We begin asking ourselves if it’s a good “time” to love, or if it will just mess up our goals.
Truth is, it takes guts to love. It takes a different part of us, a certain kind of strength that enables us to go forward with it. Love, in my personal opinion, is the most powerful act of giving and sacrifice. In reality, love is not only a feeling, but also a choice. It is an action word. We choose how we love someone, how we care for him or her, and how sensitive we are to our partner’s needs. Sometimes, love is a choice we’re not willing to make because we don’t feel ready or prepared for the work that comes along with loving someone.
Is love ever convenient though? Does is it ever come at a time when it doesn’t catch us a little off guard? I have loved truly once even though the timing of it all seemed out of place. But I believe we have to seize the moment when the opportunity to love comes our way.
A friend of mine who loves his girlfriend with every ounce in him told me, “It feels good to love someone. It’s hard work, but these feelings don’t come cheap. Love should never feel convenient.”
Many things in our lives seem inconvenient at times: going to the grocery store, paying bills, exercising, going to the dentist, or even buying holiday presents. But we do it. We do it because we know if we don’t do those things our quality of life would diminish.
If we take a moment to look at all the little inconveniences in our lives, they usually turn out not to be so bad. In fact, many of those little inconveniences add value to our lives. Those cards you receive on your birthday from mom? Inconvenient for her, but that inconvenience added joy to your life. In fact, it added joy to her life too. What about those friends who helped you move into your new apartment? You probably felt grateful and cared about. They were tired and hungry, but through the inconvenience they got to enjoy your new home with you (and probably the pizza you bought).
And this is where love comes in. Love can be, at times, a pain. It comes at inopportune moments, when we might be milling about our day, and it repeatedly nags us saying, “I’m here and you can’t ignore me.” But perhaps it’s through this inconvenience we get to experience something improving our lives.
There is an uneasiness experienced through the inconvenience of love, because often it makes us go outside of ourselves. It takes courage to seize something that is inconvenient. It takes risk.
Through the giving and the sacrifice it doesn’t mean we have to lose ourselves. When we are tested beyond what we believed we were capable of, we get to know a deeper part of ourselves. There is a strength found in being deeply connected with another person and still connected with yourself. The dichotomy of it all is: while it may be an annoyance at times, there is much to be gained from surrendering to an inconvenient love.
Follow Anya Alvarez on Twitter @anyaalvarez.
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