Being in a relationship is often like putting pieces of a puzzle together.
Sure, you fell in love and really care for one another, but how does it all fit together? Time management, career obligations, and unfulfilled personal goals can become obstacles in creating a long lasting and meaningful relationships. Here are some tips as to how to avoid common pitfalls that most relationships experience, and how to avoid them in the future!
Mistake #1: Putting Off Quality Time Together
It becomes easier and easier to take one another for granted when you are in a relationship. While most couples would balk at the idea of being attached at the hip, it is important to create time together (just for the two of you!) so that you can reconnect on a more intimate level both mentally and emotionally. Set aside some time every day where you talk and engage with one in a positive and constructive manner. Your relationship with be better for it!
Mistake #2: Ignoring Each Other’s Physical Needs
Yes, passion in relationships ebb and flow. But all couples need to enjoy each other on a physical level. This doesn’t mean you need to have sex every day all day. But kissing each other before heading off to work, cuddling at night, holding hands at the movies...you get the idea. Put your cynicism aside and reach out to your lover. You don’t grow together if your branches never intertwine.
Mistake #3: Career Comes First
We all work. We all have to support ourselves and our families. No one is suggesting otherwise. But life is short. Missing out on making memories together is only going to hurt your relationship in the long run. The habits we form now will carry us through our lives, so choose wisely. Make it a priority to spend the weekends with your lover and your family. Make it a habit of turning your cell phone off or not checking your email after a certain point in the evening.
Mistake #4: Shutting Down During an Argument
I say this all the time in my articles: Communication is EVERYTHING in a relationship. When you avoid communicating your true feelings and instead shut down during a fight, you are sending the message that the other person’s feelings are not valid and that you have removed yourself from the situation, which will only aggravate the person further. Instead, listen actively and repeat back what the other person says after they are done speaking. This will help to clarify miscommunications as well as let them hear what you are hearing. (And they may not like what they said to you.) It’s a good way to diffuse a difficult situation.
Mistake #5: Being Unwilling to Compromise
Seems like common sense, right? Every couple has to make sacrifices and compromises. But often times in relationships, one person does more of the compromising than the other. Of course there will be times where one gives more, but you must be careful not to fall into the trap where one gives all time and becomes resentful over time. Share your frustrations and learn to give and take. You’ll have a stronger, more respectful relationship because of it.
twoday magazine wants to know: What other relationship pitfalls have you overcome or are working on? Share with us on our Facebook page.