It’s Friday and all signs point to the Outsider being officially back from his hiatus to bring you all the uneducated pop culture commentary you’ve come to love.
“Where did he go you ask?” None of your damn business, that’s where!
This week we visit a storm heading towards the republican convention, both a literal storm as well as a more feared “rape storm.” The Wikileaks founder is caught not knowing what the phrase “witch hunt” means, and Prince Harry is caught with his pants down.
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By now everyone is familiar with the website WikiLeaks. Australian born, Julian Assange, used the site to publish a metric ass-load of classified and sensitive US government documents and is now holed up in Ecuador's embassy in London, trying his best not to be extradited to Sweden based on some sex crimes he possibly committed.
Needless to say, the US is not happy with the lad and would love to see him “get his,” even if they can’t do anything to him directly.
The US did, however, detain Bradley Manning who is the solider accused of supplying WikiLeaks with the documents in the first place.
Assange is trying to get the US to back of both himself as well as Manning. He asked “President Obama to do the right thing - The United States must renounce its witch-hunt against WikiLeaks.”
OK can anyone find the flaw in that sentence? A witch-hunt typically involves mass hysteria while illogically chasing something that doesn’t exist. WikiLeaks not only exists, but Assange knew what he was publishing, and Bradley knew what he was giving him.
Should there be a punishment for leaking classified information? If not, then why even bother making it classified? What’s the incentive for not sharing the information if there’s no punishment for it?
In the end, it is understandable that the US has it out for Assange even though he didn’t steal the information himself. He’s not a US citizen so the First Amendment doesn’t really apply to him; regardless the US isn’t charging him, they are just not willing to help him escape his sexual misconduct charges.
Speaking of sexual misconduct...
This year is an election year in the US which means everybody is a little more self righteous than normal.
For any of you readers who might be outside the US, let the Outsider sum up American politics for you: Politics are not really about a system of governance, and are more like sports teams, the letter next to a politician’s name is usually more important than anything they say.
It’s no secret that the GOP has struggled with attracting women voters on account that many of them speak as if they have absolutely no idea what being an American woman is like (not that the Outsider has any idea either, he just has enough sense to keep his fat mouth shut).
The latest example comes courtesy of Missouri senate candidate Todd Akin, who recently said that in the cases of “legitimate rape” women’s bodies have some sort of mechanism that prevents them from getting pregnant.
... Yep, it’s the dumbest thing the Outsider has heard in a long time, too.
Akin’s comments have understandably stirred up a fire storm. Akin tried to cover his tracks by saying he simply misspoke, he had a word out of place. The Outsider has no idea what word that would be, but typically when a person makes a grammatical error they fix it right away:
“Me and you would probably want... Excuse me, YOU and I would probably want a more efficient system of government.”
The senate candidate has taken enormous heat from his own party, even Romney and Ryan themselves have asked him to step down, but Akin (as of this writing) is defiant. He has said he has always gone against his party’s leadership and stands up for his own principles.
The Outsider loves the irony in his defiant tone, like Akin is being persecuted for his beliefs and he is courageously standing up for them, and that should make him more qualified to be a leader. See? According to Akin, Americans want leaders that decide something is true based on their gut and are completely incapable of believing or understanding science.
Akin has shown his true colors here as someone who really doesn’t understand female biology and is likely incapable of making sound legislative decisions on this issue because of that.
The Democrats have also been very vocal about Akin’s stupidity, as they should be. However, they have now made the mistake of overreaching and saying how Akin feels is secretly how all Republicans feel.
If this was how the majority of Republicans felt then they would be defending Akin, not telling him to get out of what is still a very winnable senate race. The issues of abortion and contraception are very tricky ones amongst conservatives and it spans a wide range of views; to label all Republicans as sharing Akin’s stupidity is demonstrating as much ignorance as Akin himself.
The Outsider’s advice (and this applies to all politicians until the end of time), make fun of Akin, he’s earned it, but do your research before you extend it further than that.
It seems Prince Harry is turning out to be less of a prince and more of a court jester. Recently the Prince took a trip to Las Vegas, NV where he was candidly photoed during a game of strip pool.
Think of it as skinny dipping, but with the wrong pool.
It turns out running around naked in Vegas is not an offense worthy of losing his title though (because who among us hasn’t done it?), but if he converted to Catholicism, that would have been another story.
For some reason the Outsider is too lazy to look up, Catholics cannot assume the throne in Great Britain.
The lesson here for all you aspiring princes, let your dong flap in the breeze, just don’t you dare put it in a confessional booth.
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