"Hard" Work Takes on a Whole New Meaning...
She’s talented, attractive, and knows more about what makes her department run well than anyone else who works there, including her boss. Yet this woman didn’t get the position of supervisor for which she applied for one simple reason: She doesn’t sleep around.
Sound like something out of the 1950’s based series Mad Men? Fast forward 60 years and, unfortunately, it is still a very real problem for women in 2010.
“I know exactly why I didn’t get the position,” says this outraged woman. “I knew it even during the interview. My boss wasn't interested in my qualifications; I had a gut instinct that he had already chosen who he wanted working with him. The woman who did get the position got it because she knows exactly what she is doing. And by that I mean she knows that having sex with the boss guarantees she will get what she wants. She’s not the first. It happens all the time in this workplace.”
It also happens everywhere else. It is a time-honored ploy: Play "nice" with the man in charge and you can basically write your own ticket at work.
I have a friend who left a six figure job because of the promiscuous behavior of fellow employees in the workplace. She's not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, yet her work environment became untenable.
She had to leave because, as she told me, "I have never work in such an immoral place in my entire career. They partied on week-ends and carried it over to the office on Monday. No one seemed to care about how good your work was. It was all about who was having sex with the right person to further their career. I wasn't going anywhere in my career unless I was willing to become a participant and that I refused to do."
It isn't just a problem for women, either, it seems. Men are as likely to be overlooked if they don't play the game with a woman in charge.
"I had worked really hard and was up for a promotion. Two weeks after I didn't get it I found out that the guy who was promoted in my place was what someone in my office referred to as my supervisor's bed-buddy. I was pissed as hell. That guy was usually a no-show at important meetings and did half the work I did. But it seems that my hard work in the boardroom doesn't compete with his "hard" work in the bedroom."
No one really has a problem with anyone's sex life outside of work because then it is a private matter. The problem arises when the sex life of the people who not only work together but 'sleep' together invades the workplace and causes problems for the non-participants.
Sex in the workplace is disruptive. No one likes to feel that they have been overlooked for promotion or a new position simply because they weren't the ones "participating" in extracurricular activities with the man or woman in charge.
Unfortunately, sex for power and sex for getting ahead will always be with us. Proving why you didn't get a position or promotion can be exhausting and sometimes fruitless unless you have others to back up your assertions. Legal action is expensive but oftentimes worth the expense. You have to judge if pursuing any kind of action is really worth it to you.
Sex is sex and it has it's many wonderful places. One of the places it shouldn't be, however, is where you work. The problem is that no matter where you work, having sex with the right person in charge will always be a step up the work ladder for some people.
© 2010 Copyright Kristen Houghton
Kristen Houghton is a Lifestyle writer and the author of the best-selling book, And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First