Two Day Magazine

To tell or not to tell?

“Oh my God, you look fabulous!” all six of us exclaim to our friend, Jennifer, whose wedding is in two days.

We’re gathered for her pre-bridal party at a tony restaurant in NYC and we haven’t seen the “bride-to-be-second-time-around” for over three years while she was working in Florida for her magazine. She’d met someone down there last year and was getting married again. We’d all kept in touch by phone and emails and were excited for her.

“I guess working in Florida is really like being on vacation,” says one of our friends admiringly.  

I nod my head in assent and calculate how I can swing a few months in a warmer climate myself.

My friend looks incredible.

Later on, as the evening drifts into the late night hours and our friends leave one by one, the bride and I are left alone in the restaurant. I pull out my cell phone ready to call a cab to take us to our respective homes when she stops me, orders two drinks, and asks me if I can tell.

“Tell what?”  I am baffled.

“About my, um, improvements.”  

Ah, now I know.

During her time in Florida it seems, she had some “work done”; a whole lot of it as she tells me in detail. Besides getting a vertical facelift, chin implant, and eyelid surgery, both upper and lower, she also had had a butt lift and abdominoplasty to remove excess stomach tissue.

“And remember four years ago when I said I was visiting my parents in Virginia? I was actually in Los Angeles getting a breast augmentation.”

“You told us you looked so uplifted because you were doing upper body exercises and had bought the new Victoria’s Secret bras!” I remind her.

 “Oh, thank God! You mean you couldn’t tell?”

I tell her we might have suspected but no one mentioned anything. You look great! Why the big confession now?

“I am deliberating telling Jayson about my new body. He doesn’t know the old me, he met me six months after my last procedure. Maybe he should know I’ve made some improvements. You write about relationships--what do you think?”

What do I think? I think…….

Plastic surgery is a very personal decision or it should be one. I have my own thoughts about making personal improvements and the truth is that I am not adverse to getting a few of my own when I think the time has come for them.

Having “work” done to improve your appearance and make you feel better is something only you can decide to do. There is nothing wrong with making certain corrections to what nature gave you or having procedures to make you appear fresher and more vibrant. You want to live happily and if that will add to your happiness, go for it. Why not?

Whether you choose to tell someone about your procedures is also personal. We all present ourselves to members of the opposite sex in the best possible way we can. Having someone find you attractive, desirable, hot even, is a great ego booster. Isn’t that one of the perks of being a couple?

I told Jen what I thought, which included the fact that she might be addicted to "improvements". She nodded in agreement.

Then, I also told her something else. James didn’t meet the “old” Jennifer, he met her as she is now and that is the person he knows and loves. Enjoy being the new, improved you and begin a new improved life with him.

Let’s face it, liking the way you look is its own best reward. Just don't over-do it and you'll be happier.

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© 2011 Copyright Kristen Houghton

Kristen Houghton is a well-respected Lifestyle journalist who writes for many media outlets, including The Huffington Post, More Magazine and OWN.

She is also the author of the top-selling book, And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First