Who knew poop could be so funny?
Most humor writers like to think of themselves as sophisticated humorists, writers whose work is more on par with Sex and the City by Candace Bushnell than The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank by Erma Bombeck.
That being said I will also state that, having recently read some of her columns, Erma was downright hilarious at times. City girl that I am, though, I didn’t relate to her folksy style of writing about marriage and raising children. Still, the lady was funny and she never, thank God, resorted to bathroom humor. She wasn’t what I call a “Mommy Blogger.”
“Mommy bloggers" are a new breed of bloggers” who glorify the most mundane activity of their children in the misguided idea that the world is totally interested in hearing about the grossest details of their lives.
Anyone with a computer is under the impression that every cutesy-poo mommy-child moment they write about on their personal blogs is best seller material. It’s not. Most people like comedy that is devoid of bathroom humor and have never been, nor will ever be, willing members of a small corps of people who laugh at statements like “baby poop,” or chortle reading about baby boys who "pee" in Mommy’s face during a Huggies change.
We don’t care to read about a lack of sex life with a husband who is a dumb-ass couch potato or how, when you and the potato finally do get together, your child interrupts coitus by walking in on mommy and daddy and asking a “cute” question about why you're exercising in bed.
Parents in the 21st century have elevated children to a privileged status that can only be called annoying. Any adult who looks askance at a rude child allowed to run amok in a fancy restaurant, or who disrupt movies their parents have no reason to bring them to, is immediately labeled a child-hater.*
There are some “Mommy Bloggers” who have websites that show pictures of themselves as frazzled women with bed hair, baggy jeans, and a rumpled, stained tee shirt, wearing quizzical, bewildered smiles on their faces. They actually pose for the camera looking this way believing that other women will relate, but very few do.
A friend of mine showed me a recent blog where the woman chose to write a typical “mommy” story. She related, with serious glee, that during her sixth month of pregnancy with her second child, her first child came down with a minor case of diarrhea after eating peas. When she had to change his messy Huggies, the overwhelming smell, and pea-green color made her vomit into the soiled diaper. (Of course the words diarrhea and vomit were not the words she used.) More intimate details followed about the diaper change including, yes you guessed it, the requisite “pee-in-the-face” spray statement.
The amount and color of your daughter’s bowel movement is not the most interesting thing in the world of literature, and writing about your son urinating against a tree in the park isn’t on par with great artistic achievement. It is what it is, plain, simple infantile humor best left to six year olds. (Or those who think like a six year-old).
To be fair there are some excellent, funny bloggers out there who do happen to be mommies, but who have a comedic flair that has nothing to do with bathroom humor, cute kiddies, or inept hubbies. They’re serious humor writers now and will continue to be so when their kids are grown.
But, not so funny bloggers are out there, blogging away and it seems there’s reason to fear the “poop and puke Mommy writer.” I’m concerned for the future of humor writing. After all, their children will grow up some day.
What will they do after their kids are on their own? Will they become “Grammie” writers, women whose sole purpose in life is to write about getting old, couch potato snoring grandfathers, and, not only their grand-kids’ bodily functions, but theirs and their spouses as well?
That’s a scary thought!
Please, stop the “Mommy Blogger” now, before it’s too late! The future of humor writing depends on you.
*And, before you ask, no, I do not hate kids!
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© 2011 Copyright Kristen Houghton
Kristen Houghton is a Lifestyle writer and the author of the best-selling book, And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First
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Kristen,
I couldn’t agree more with this piece. I have nothing against mothers (and fathers), but I don’t need to know about every diaper, puke stain, cry, pee explosion.
The term “mommy blogger” is as socially backward as many people today consider June Cleaver to be.
It’s cute, we get that you want to form a bond with other moms, but making humor out of your kid’s poop or temper explosion in a store is far from funny.
Nikki412
I really like this post, and I love reading mommy blogs. I think that a lot of women can relate to the craziness us stay at home moms go through. That can be crazy poop stories, screaming and running in the market, and just what we like to do during nap time. I love reading how I am not alone in the world in feeling “stay at home parenting” is not for me…but something that I need to do. I am one of those that share crazy moments on twitter, facebook, and any other network…I think I may have tweeted my sons first poop…yes…a twitpic, because I was that excited. It might not be something for single people that do not have kids to see, but that was my excitement of the day. Some things that us moms talk about might not be for the single guy, or single girl, but when you are a parent everything changes. It is just nice to sit back and read other peoples experiences with their kids. I have learned so much through reading “mommy blogs”.
Now Bobby, (lol) I have to comment on your comment about kids screaming and parents not doing anything about it. When you become a parent you develop a thing called “tuning out”. When you see a mom or dad with a screaming kid in the cart and us walking around as if the child isn’t there….honestly, that is better then bringing them out of the store. It might annoy the single/no kids people but if you ignore the kid for the 5-20 minutes they are screaming, they will stop. That is the child wanting attention. You say that we should bring them out of the store…honestly, that is the worst thing a parent can do because then the child knows…if they cry…they leave….then what does the parent do when they are alone with the child and need to get shopping done? When we are letting our child sit there and scream we are actually doing something, teaching them that they are not going to get their way and they have to sit there until we are done shopping.
As for the parents letting their kids run around, I don’t agree with that either. There are some stores I do let my child have his little space and walk around (sometimes run) such as 5 below, and the mall. Would I let him get in others way, no, but they have to learn to walk around with people some how…so stores like that I will let him down and walk.
Anyway, mommy blogs can teach people a lot not just about pee and poop, but about children in general and what we have to go through during the day. Its not all Days of Our Lives and Bon Bons.
Nikki412
(my last comment was supposed to be on the defense to mommy blogging)
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I tend to agree with Ms. Houghton that this stuff is gross, but maybe we have this mommy blogging about excretion all wrong.
Maybe these moms can bond over these child experiences and find common ground. Maybe these moms can see each other as true equals, irrespective of social class, ethnicity and economic status. Maybe, just maybe, the pee-in-the-face is the salve to heal this Nation of ours. Maybe this poo is the glue that can bind us together, moms all, wiping little baby bums in true Union. When we wrap that diaper together, we are one Nation, incontinent, with talcum and pee-in-the-face for All. Why, think if Sarah Palin and Michelle Obama could just sit down over coffee and really talk - really listen- and discuss the myriad colors of poo.
Just think what could happen.
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Haha, these are all great comments!