Two Day Magazine

A Breast is a Breast, A Thigh is a Thigh, and We're Not Talking Chicken

A sensitive topic for any relationship speaker to address at a seminar is the issue of men looking at sexy women other than their own woman. It is bad enough if he looks when he's out with his guy friends, but infinitely worse if he sneaks a peek when he's out with you. You feel angry, upset, and unfortunately, inferior. He's looking at her breasts; you start thinking her "girls" must be better than mine! He wants to have sex with her! You confront him and the argument starts. He denies it, you don't believe him and it is another no-win situation in the battle of the sexes.

What we women don't realize is that he isn't really looking at the other woman as a person; he's seeing a breast or a thigh and that's it. That glimpse of breast sends a signal to his brain and yes, you're right, he does want sex. Where you're wrong is just who he wants to have it with! It's not her, it's you Are you confused yet?

Let's do the research.

Men are very visual creatures when it comes to sex. They can spot mammary cleavage from a very far distance. If a woman is crossing her legs and exposing some thigh anywhere in a three block radius, men will zone in on it like a heat seeking missile. Nature more than likely made them that way so the species wouldn't die out.

It isn't only real women's parts that turn a guy on. Wives and girlfriends have been reaping the benefits of watching soft core filmed pornography with their men for a quite awhile. Even beautiful masterpieces of nudes in museums can make a man think with that certain part of his anatomy. It is his nature. But what we have to remember is that what goes from their eyes to their brains, to their libido reminds them of their sex partner - you.  

One woman at my seminar told me that she was so angry during a recent dinner when fiancé  looked at  a sexy woman whose "girls" were literally falling out of her top at the next table, that a fight wasn't all that occurred.

"That night he had the nerve to want sex and I refused to be that woman's stand-in."

She had a hard time reconciling the fact that he didn't want that woman, he wanted sex with his own woman!

Another woman told me that she felt something was wrong with her because her guy had wanted sex after watching Kate Winslet take off her clothes in the movie The Reader!

"I felt as if he wanted me to be her!" Not true.

Trust me, you can show a man a picture of a breast, just a breast all by itself, and it will get him thinking about sex...and you. After all you are his sex partner; he desires you. The image, whether a picture or a stranger, is just the catalyst to the real thing with you.

Women, too, are very visual when it comes to sex. We might just be a bit more discreet. We don't let anyone know we're looking even when we are and, believe me, we do look quite a lot. And as with men, that looking makes us think about our own sex partners.

So the next time you get mad as hell because your guy "looked," remember - a breast is a generic breast, a thigh is a generic thigh, and you are the real deal. He's looking, not touching and that's okay. Take advantage of his libido driven brain and enjoy!

© 2010 Copyright Kristen Houghton
Kristen Houghton is the author of the best-selling book, And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First