Resolutions for the New Year are often made and then broken.
It can be difficult to make big changes in your life and stick to them. Often times, people start out the year with the best of intentions, but before we reach Valentine’s Day, we find ourselves reverting back to old habits and lifestyle choices we swore to give up.
But, if there is one resolution worth keeping, it is this one: Make 2012 the year of positive change in your life. No matter how big or small, commit to treating yourself better. Be kind to yourself and respect what you need in life as vital and important.
The best way to start bringing positive change into your life is to remove some of the negative components, thus making room for better things. We don’t know what we want until we know what we don’t want, so take charge of your environment.
Here are some types of toxic people to let go of in the New Year so that you can finally focus on what is important: Your Sanity.
Toxic Type #1: The Mooch
This is the person that takes and takes and takes, but doesn’t know how to give. They show up to a party empty handed. They are always asking for something and never really respond with a “thank you” or return the favor. Inviting them out to dinner means footing the bill. Every time.
Remedy: Just short of telling them that you moved to Tijuana, just stop offering to do things and watch them slowly disappear. You won’t even miss them. Seriously.
Toxic Type #2: The Head Case
This person unloads all of their personal drama onto you, and they always desperately need your opinion. What’s much more annoying, however, is that you always are talking about the same exact topic because they won’t actually take any of your advice. They don’t really want a change to happen in their life, they just want someone to listen to them vent all their self-inflicted woes. Don’t be flattered. If they aren’t talking to you, they are spilling their guts to someone else.
Remedy: Stop offering advice. The next time they ask for help, just sigh and say that they never listen anyway, so you’re done giving advice. The phone won’t be ringing as often, but you will be glad about it!
Toxic Type #3: The Flake
I am learning a thing or two as I am progressing through my twenties. One of those things is that I am realizing that I have a finite amount of energy. This energy can only go to people who I know really want me in their lives, and vise versa. So, when you make plans with your friend for lunch, and they are 40 minutes late showing up, or they cancel at the last minute, or they don’t respond to text messages for days at a time....one has to wonder....what’s the point?
Remedy: Stop making the first move. Let them pick up the phone and call you. Most likely, they will always mean to, but never will, which leaves the ball in their court...and you off the hook.
Toxic Type #4: The Dark Cloud
You know the type. Nothing is ever going well. They always have a cold or are just about to come down with something. Negativity is their middle name (and sometimes their first). Their life always sucks, nothing is ever going to get better, and any positive words of encouragement are met with stony silence. Let’s just say, being around them is never quite a party.
Remedy: Keep your distance. Take longer to make plans with them and shorten your phone conversations. Whenever they start heading into negative town, cut them off and explain that you have to go. Pretty soon you will find that the negativity will leave your life and you will feel ten pounds lighter!
Toxic Type #5: The Guilt Trip
Yes, I know I am being harsh. But sometimes their are certain people in our lives that we merely keep around because we feel bad about not talking to them. Maybe you have known this person for a while and feel bad for cutting them out of your life. Maybe you met through a mutual friend and have nothing in common, but you know how lonely they are. The only problem is, they annoy the hell out of you and you can’t wait for them to leave every time you invite them over. You always promise yourself it will be the last time. But it never is.
Remedy: Don’t guilt yourself into being friends with someone you don’t click with. I know it’s harsh, but you don’t have time to hang with people who you don’t like. There are only so many hours in the day, after all! The next time they want to hang out, you are busy. And you will be busy for the rest of the year. Sorry, but tough times call for tough measures. Hopefully, the phone will stop ringing.
Toxic Type #6: The Bully
We all know the type. You tell them something good that happened to you, and they give you three reasons why it was bad. They never support you, treat you poorly, talk about you to other people and make you feel bad about yourself. This isn’t a friend. This is a frienemy. And you are too old to put up with it anymore.
Remedy: Stand up for yourself. Now, whether this means confronting them on their bad behavior or just simply deleting their name from your phonebook, it is time to move on with your life. This isn’t high school, anymore (thank goodness) and you do not have to accept this behavior from a so-called friend.
Did I miss any? Send me toxic types to add to this list on twodaymag’s Facebook page.
Find me on Twitter @nataliestweets to continue the conversation!