Two Day Magazine

Do Good Looks = Good Luck?

Barbie - the perfect "person" with the perfect life and no worries, enjoying the career of her choice and  perpetually engaged to Ken. Maybe you think everything went well for her because of her looks. Do you see good looks as good luck?. Hard to believe but there are some women who still see the Barbie doll with whom they grew up as the ideal "woman." This is especially true during times of stress when we equate jobs, boyfriends, and all good things in life with good looks.

It is not surprising. At particularly difficult times of our lives we tend to want to return to what once made us happy and safe. The cocoon of childhood, where our imagination was our world, is the place where many of us go.

Interestingly enough, the childhood doesn't have to have been a  particularly happy one. There is an aspect of being a child that has to do with hope and where is hope more alive than in a child's imagination! We tended to project ourselves into a beautiful fantasy world where all was fine and dandy. In our minds we became as fine and dandy as that play world. We were beautiful and we want that feeling again.

In the midst of crisis, whether it is a nasty break-up or a job loss, women see the prime problem for their  loss in their own images. Any of the crises mentioned can lead a woman to question her looks as the "real" reason for unfortunate happenings. Realistically, you know looks are not the cause, but the niggling doubt still is there at the back of your mind. Drastic diets, plastic surgery, changes in hair color and style become obsessions.

How interesting that in the current economic crunch the two areas that are showing positive growth are plastic surgery and the diet industry. Women are flocking to these areas in the hopes that a change in appearance will do them good and bring with it good luck.

They're not far from wrong. Change is good. The problem with change is that you can take it too far.

Your outward looks represent you to the world. Before anyone gets to know the inside you, they see the outside. Making simple changes, a hairstyle, some "facial freshening," a few less pounds, can make you feel more confident. That's the good part.

But, you can take it too far if you believe that you lost your job because of your appearance rather than the true fact of a company downsize. Or if you think a break-up is due to your hips being too full instead of acknowledging that the relationship wasn't right for you, in the first place. These things happen in life and rarely have anything to do with your looks. Making drastic changes won't get you back the job or the guy.

A daydream trip to childhood can be a pleasant thing but you are an adult now and need to deal with what is in front of you in your grown-up world. It can be tough. But, changing yourself into your childhood dream is not going to change the inner you. Knowing what your worth is, knowing and loving the inner you makes it easier to love the you outside.  

When a crisis hits, it can be a blessing in disguise. Take the time to understand that this might be a good opportunity for you to discover your inner strengths and learn how you can use them. Love yourself inside and out. You're worth it!

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© 2011 Copyright Kristen Houghton

Kristen Houghton is a Lifestyle journalist and the author of the best-selling book, And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First