(A Thanksgiving poem with deepest apologies to Clement Moore)
‘Twas the Morn of Thanksgiving, exactly at eight,
When I went down the stairs, just barely awake,
I needed some coffee, caffeine, just a cup,
To get myself going, to wake myself up!
My husband was dressing, he promised to help me,
At four we were hosting a dinner for twenty,
I had dressing to make, that’s an hour or two,
A turkey to stuff, and much more to do!
I walked in the kitchen, oh what a nightmare!
The cats had been playing with the pies I left there!
The box from the cake shop was strewn on the floor,
There were sugary paw-prints, the pies were no more!
I’ll go buy more pies and Dad’s favorite cheesecake,
I’d better go soon; I don’t know how to bake!
The hell with the coffee, I’ll go to the store,
But first let me check on one item more.
I open the ‘fridge and to my surprise,
The bird is not thawing, I can’t believe my eyes!
The turkey’s still frozen! But how can this be?
I thought it would be ready and waiting for me!
I call up the stairs, “the turkey is ice!
We forgot to defrost it, that’s not very nice!”
“Your parents are coming, your grandparents, too,
My mother, my father, damn, what will we do?”
“Don’t panic, don’t worry, there must be a way,”
To find one more turkey and salvage the day!”
He means well I know, but where will he find,
A turkey that I can have ready on time?
“I’ll find us a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner,
Our parents will say that our dinner’s a winner!”
So much confidence, so much self-esteem,
But if he can’t find a turkey, I know I will scream!!
He runs down the stairs, going straight to the door,
Out into the morning to go find a store,
That still has some turkeys, thawed nice as can be,
I wish him God-speed; now dessert’s up to me,
I rush to a shop that has cakes, pies, and pastry,
And stand on a line holding number 393!
The clock is fast moving, its now 12:04,
While I'm waiting my turn in this overcrowded store,
There’s no cheesecake left and the pastries are few,
No gooey! No chew-y! Now what do I do?
I buy what I can, since the cases are bare,
And rush home to find still no turkey is there!
I feed the cats, my sweet innocent monsters,
Then vacuum like crazy, the up and the downstairs,
The time’s now 2:40 and I’m still not dressed,
In one hour and twenty the doorbell will be pressed!
Where oh where is that husband of mine?
Has he found a turkey, are we gong to dine?
At exactly 3:30, Alan comes through the door,
With two other people! He's brought two guests more?!
“They’re here from the caterer, we just have to hurry,
They’ve prepared us a feast, so Kristen, don’t worry,
“Roast turkey, the stuffing, potatoes galore,
Gravy and veggies, and wait, there’s still more!
A cheesecake so fluffy, and pies so divine!
Our guests will think that we spent so much time,
On cooking, and baking, preparing our repast,
They’ve got it all done, we’re ready at last!”
Just as the caterers’ car pulled away,
The doorbell rang and I heard someone say,
“Wow! Something smells good! I can’t wait to eat!”
I kissed my husband for the accomplished feat,
For finding a caterer and saving the day,
For making sure that all is okay,
I run up the stairs to get dressed for our guests,
So thankful that my man is “simply the best!”
It isn’t the food or the pastries and such,
It’s being a team that really means so much,
On this day let’s be thankful for our husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, and wives,
For simply being there and sharing our lives,
So I kiss the “cook” and the “baker” too,
And wish with all my heart “Happy Thanksgiving to You!!”
© 2011 Copyright Kristen Houghton
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