By: Libby Keatinge
“Good things come to those who wait”… or do they?
When it comes to marriage, some couples take their sweet time making that commitment, while others jump right in! Are you a girl holding out for a promise of “till death do us part” – or maybe your man is ready to walk down the aisle, and you would rather take some time to feel things out.
Kerry, 29, from Long Island, NY shares, “I met my now husband when I was 21 and we just got married this year. Some people might think waiting eight years is crazy, but I never felt it was right to push him, and honestly, I was not ready, either. I really felt stable in my career at 28, and that is something I didn’t realize I needed in order to be the best wife I can be. I am glad we had many years of dating.”
Angela, 36, from Los Angeles, tells a tale of waiting just a bit too long. “I was with my boyfriend for five years. After two years, he kept saying that we would eventually get married. Every year he had an excuse why we shouldn’t. Eventually we had a heart to heart and he told me that he really didn’t want to get married. I wish I hadn’t wasted my time.”
There are a few things to consider when evaluating your relationship:
- Do you want to get married and if so – why? If you dig deep and find that the reason you want to get married is really because your friends are all getting married or you feel it is “time,” then marriage actually not might be the best move for you, anyway.
- Is your man saying he wants to get married eventually but just not now and you don’t believe him? The situation then may be an underlying trust issue. If you do not trust your man, should you really be with him at all? If your boyfriend has always shown loyalty and trust, why not trust him on this as you have with other issues, and believe that he is saying what he means, and when the time is right, you will tie the knot?
- Are YOU ready? Marriage is not all about waiting for the man to propose. – it’s about YOU deciding if this is right for YOU. Take a hard look at your life. Are you ready for this commitment? Are you at the place in your life where you feel able to take on a promise and possibly have children in the near future? Examine what that means and make the decision first that YOU are ready and the time is right for you, before making it a focus of your relationship.
Timing is everything! What is right for one couple may not be right for you. If you feel the timing is right after one month, go for it, but if you would like to give the relationship a nice long test drive, then take your time!
Libby Keatinge is twoday magazine’s newest contributor. She lives in New York City and has written and edited for several online publications, including Betty Confidential. Catch up with her on Facebook and let her know whether or not you should wait or pick that date!
Follow @twodaymag on Twitter and let us know how long you would wait to get married, or if getting married is so 2010...