By: Libby Keatinge
Your friend just told you about a great guy she wants to set you up with. She tells you about his awesome sense of humor and he’s – hooray – best friends with her boyfriend!
Imagine the potential for double dates and couples’ trips! You reluctantly agree; you hate blind dates, but too late - the time is set: Tuesday at 3 pm you will meet this “great guy” for a coffee downtown.
“What’s his name?” you ask before you rush home to your computer.
(Maybe you even Google him right there on your iPhone.)
And there it all is: pictures of him on his latest ski trip, his place of work –Oh wait, he went to Yale! Who is that girl he has his arm around in that photo with him?
Wait, wait, wait, slow down! Is it really a good idea to Google someone you may potentially date?
My sweet friend, Lauren, a doll of a girl from Texas, decided to follow me to New York City as she had heard me rave about the guys, lifestyle, and basically everything about the Big Apple.
Well, as luck would have it, she decided to hit the Hamptons and -BOOM– on her first night she met a good looking “writer” in Montauk! Score!
They made a date for when they were both back in the city the following Wednesday. After their initial drinks date, Lauren could not wait to get to know Mr. Sexy Writer more and more.
“I’ll make you dinner at my place,” he suggested. Lauren originally agreed, but then thought it was too soon to go to his home, so she sent him a text saying it would be better if they could meet at a little bistro in her neighborhood instead.
The sexy writer, however, went on and on about how he REALLY wanted to make her dinner at his place.
Thinking his persistence was a bit strange, Lauren decided to Google her new suitor and let’s say she found out precisely why he wanted to flambé something over at his place.
This gentleman’s “writing” job is running Cook to Bang, a blog dedicated to sharing recipes like “Double Dip the Tip in Chocolate,” “Toss Your Salad Wrap,” and the “Picnic to Bang,” which promise to get men laid by serving seductive recipes to women.
Lauren dodged a bullet knowing this info. Googling someone can provide details that may help you avoid a sticky situation.
On a more serious note, searching someone can also of course show if they are married or have a criminal record.
But what about a situation where it may have been better to keep the mystery?
Cassandra, my fast talking party-planner pal from the Lower East Side thought she struck dating gold when the hot guy in line behind her at Think Coffee on Bowery paid for her coffee and then struck up a conversation.
In five minutes she found him to be extremely funny, personable, and thoughtful, and couldn’t wait to look him up when he handed her a very simple personal card with only his name, cell phone number, and email address in black and white Times New Roman on clean crisp white card stock.
She couldn’t help but think she had met him or seen him before.
Cassandra hit her iPad when she hopped into a cab, and immediately Googled the new hottie.
Ah ha, that’s where she knew him from – the big screen. Cassandra read through his IMDB credits ; wow, a movie with Robert DeNiro…and wow, nominated for a Golden Globe? This guy was a real star!
A few days went by before Mr. Movie Star texted Cassandra to see if she wanted to meet for drinks.
When Cassandra showed up to the dive bar in the West Village, she said she felt “intimidated” and “just wasn’t herself.”
She felt like this guy had accomplished more than her, and wouldn’t find her party planning career interesting, which, in fact, it was, and normally she loved talking about it.
Cassandra felt that the date was tarnished by the fact that she knew practically everything about this guy and regretted looking him up.
She wished she had showed up to meet the nice, friendly guy she met at the coffee shop, and found out later he was a big star.
Googling someone before you get to know them the natural way definitely has its’ pros and cons.
Tell twoday: Look them up – or stay as far away from the search engine as possible?