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Paul Ryan: He’s Such a Ladies’ Man

Anyone who has a vagina or knows someone that does, well, you may want to read this...

We all know Republican Vice Presidential hopeful, Paul Ryan, is a tough-talkin’ conservative. But, did you also know he is a lady-killer? That’s right, he has some awesome pick-up lines for the ladies of this country. Let’s see if they would work on you...

Hey there, sexy mama. I hope you like having those babies, because when I become Vice President, you won’t have any choice but to keep on poppin’ those kiddos out! And I hope you don’t want any cancer screenings or preventative care for your lady parts, either. The “v” word makes me nervous.”

    Paul Ryan has promised to go after Planned Parenthood, and his track record shows it. He has voted numerous times to defund this vital clinic which provides reproductive care and preventative care for millions of women in the United States.

“Why, hello gorgeous...Just take one look at my track record in Congress and all of the sudden you will realize that I’m all the birth control you’ll ever need!”

     Paul Ryan is not only opposed to the provisions in the Affordable Healthcare Act which give women access to birth control without co-pay through their insurers, but he actually has supported legislation that outlaws some forms of safe, effective birth control .

“I like a woman who knows her place is pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen...why should you need to make your own money? I’m running for VP, after all. Does that sweeten the deal? Now, make me some dinner, woman!”

     Paul Ryan may think it’s 1812, but someone needs to remind him that it’s actually 2012. He is against the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act which aims to close the wage gap between men and women in this country. This pay gap causes women to lose $431,000 over their lifetime for themselves and their families. Hey Paul, I thought you were for the family, so why are you so against the women who raise and support the family?

“Why so sad, lovely lady? I’m sorry that your dad viciously raped you but that isn’t my problem. Come on, I’ll buy you a drink...oh, wait...no drinking with a bun in the oven! I’ll have two for you!”

    Sound harsh? That’s because it is. Paul Ryan is against abortion, even in cases of rape and incest. Talk about compassionate conservatism! He has voted 59 times against a woman’s right to choose. Even if her life is in danger, even is she is bleeding all over the hospital floor, screaming in agony for help...too bad. He’d rather see a woman die than to allow her to have a safe, effective and legal procedure that could save her life. He’s a real charmer, that one.

“What’s that you say? You can’t get pregnant naturally? Yikes....watch me back away from your less-than-impressive uterus.”

     And, in case you were wondering where he stands on the other side of the coin, he also opposes any form of in vitro fertilization. That’s right, for the millions of men and women out there who need a little help to have a baby, he says to you, “Too bad!”

Paul Ryan: A true lady-killer in every sense of the word.

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twoday magazine wants to know what you think of Ryan’s stance on women’s health issues. Share with us your thoughts on our Facebook page.

Find Natalie on Twitter @nataliestweets.

Check out other provocative blogs from twoday magazine here:

     Kim Kardashian: His "Perfect Bitch"

     "Invasive State Interest in the Reproductive Havits of Men"

 
 

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