My fiance is serving in Afghanistan this holiday season and I am really missing him a lot. I haven’t seen him in almost a year and the holidays are really special to us. I am having a really hard time dealing with the loneliness, and I feel really selfish for even saying that, when I know he is dealing with a really difficult situation over there, as well. What’s your advice for getting through this tough time of year? I just really miss him.
Dear Sad Separation,
I can’t even imagine what you are feeling right now. Being without your lover can be very difficult around this time of year, but knowing that he is in a dangerous situation must make you not only sad, but very anxious and worried, as well.
I always think that the best way to deal with feeling lonely is to surround yourself with positive, supportive people, take time to take care of yourself, and to do something productive. I know you miss him. He misses you, too. A great way that you could show him that you miss him (and a great way to keep your mind occupied) would be to put a little holiday care package together.
Maybe bake some of his favorite cookies, include a hand-written love letter, make a music playlist of all of your favorite songs that remind you of him. Send him a video of you just telling him about your day and what you have been up to. Tie it all with a red ribbon and put it in a box and ship it off to him. A care package is such a wonderful, personal gift to receive. If you know he needs socks or other little personal items, include those in the package, too.
What’s even better is that you can extend this kind of love to other soldiers this time of year. Start a care-package club and invite friends over to help put together packages for male and female soldiers with things they may need while serving abroad.
Here are some items that soldiers often request:
Baby wipes, phone cards, magazines, books, movies, tooth brushes, mouthwash, frebreeze, body wash, crackers, suntan lotion, deck of cards, hard candy, notebooks, blue and black pens, envelopes, travel-size laundry detergent, crossword puzzles, and cookies to name a few.
Who knows? You could turn your personal project into a community project. Invite some friends over, open a bottle of wine, and make some care packages to send to the troops. I know they would greatly appreciate the thought, especially during this time of year. Then, you could let your fiance know how you have been inspired by him to take on your own good works!
Here are some websites to help get you started:
The Soldiers Family
Operation Shoe Box
Operation Care Package
Good luck and thanks for the question!