Got a question about relationships, love, dating, or sex? askNatalie and see what a fresh perspective can give you! Send your questions to: nat@twodaymag.com or tweet a question to @twodaymag and let’s get this party started!
I really need some advice I been asking the same question everywhere for the past 3 years. So almost 3 years ago, this guy I really liked became my partner for a dance. We then started to get feelings for each other. We talked for a bit, but he stopped all of sudden. It hurt me soo much. Ever since then, I have always put walls up with guys when they want to be more than friends. I have tried to date other guys, but I haven't moved on because he's always in the back of my mind.
When I started going out with one of his old friends, he started asking about us all the time, and it gave me hope that he cared. Then he broke up with his girl. I’m not sure of the reason, but I feel like I ruin relationships all because of him. I do get mix signals from him still, and I want to know how he feels. Should we move on or just continue this way? My question is: Should I ask him how he feels or will it scare him off? Or how should I move on because I would love to be with him? Please respond soon I need to know!
Please help me with my new love. Guide me and shed some light, because my judgement is blurred! :(
I met this guy during a six week summer program. Flirtation and chemistry was instant. By the second week, we were already making out and joined at the hip... and lip. We hung out together all the time and had so much fun together. We come from different countries, so I think this whole thing came with an expiration date from the start.
The thing is: I think I am more into him than he is into me. I would always call him to come sit next to me, call to meet for lunch...I made 99.99% of the moves and effort. It was so annoying and frustrating, but i was addicted to his kisses, god help me.
I honestly think that other than our physical attraction, we have nothing in common. We never talk about anything. we only sit around and flirt. He says he's not a talker...and that's so annoying. We have never had a serious conversation.
Now that we are both back home, he says he is in love with me. I am definitely not there yet, and I don’t think i will be. We don’t talk about anything. We just sit there on Skype and stare at each other and talk about our day... there is no real intellectual connection.
What do I do now? Can we stay friends? Does this need work? What kind of talk do we need to have?
How can I be honest about how I really feel without making him hate me?
Please help.. I am so confused and need all the help I can get.
I am writing today, asking for helpful advice about a new relationship. For starters, my past relationships as well as romantic situations in general, have not been peachy. I've recently entered a new relationship. Something about this guy attracts me but it's a feeling I've never felt in any other relationship. When we met, we were both looking for the same thing, to settle down.
Not immediately, but in time. The problem with that is, he asked me to tell him everything about me as far as what I've been through. Still, I'm hung up on what to say, where to start, and if he could possibly want to know EVERYTHING. I have a problem communicating about the situations I've been through because in past relationships. I’ve learned that if you give a person ALL of you..they'll turn around and use some of it against you. I don't want to have that mind frame. But how do I get beyond that? I don't feel in my heart that he will do what the last guy did. But how do I get over my fears and just talk to him.
I think another reason that I'm intimidated is that fact that no one has ever been concerned about knowing the real me. Which, it's a great thing. But I feel I'm in shock. What should I do? How do I go about doing it? I'm lost.
I have started to date this new guy and my friends don’t like him very much. They have heard rumors about him that he was in a domestic violence situation a while back and his ex-girlfriend landed in the hospital after the two of them got into an argument. I don’t see how this could be true...he seems really nice. They think I should walk away, but I think I should just ask him and find out if it is true. If it is true, what should I do?
My son just turned five and is an only child. We went to the toy store the other day and he begged me to get him a Barbie doll. He said she was pretty and he wanted to play with her. I caved and bought him one, but my husband and I had a big fight about it. He believes that by giving him a doll, we may end up “turning” him gay. I don’t know what to think, but whenever I try to take the doll from my son, he cries hysterically. I feel terribly and don’t know if made a big mistake in buying him a girl’s toy. What should I do?
I was recently out with my boyfriend and we noticed this very overweight woman sitting near us at dinner. He started making all of these really nasty remarks about her and then said if I ever “got that fat” he would dump me. I was really taken aback by this. We started dating about two months ago and I just don’t know what to think? Now I’m really paranoid about eating in front of him. Should I tell him that he hurt my feelings or should I just let it go?
I have been with my girlfriend for about six months and in that time, I have noticed that her behavior has become more and more erratic towards me. She is very emotionally unstable at times, and has even thrown things at me and hit me once. I never hit her back (I would never a woman) but I am becoming worried that the fighting is just escalating. What should I do?
My best friend has been in a bad relationship for months now and no one understands why she stays in it. I think she has low self esteem or something, but I don’t know what I can do to help her. She seems so down ever since she started dating him. She has so much going for her, no one is really sure why she is putting herself in this situation. Any ideas as to why good women stay in bad relationships?
My sister-in-law hates me. She really loves to make my life miserable whenever I am around her family. I think she has a weird thing about me being with her brother. She acts super protective of him and occupies all of his time when the family gets together (which is often). How can I get her to like me? I try to be nice to her, I buy her children presents, I cook food for the family functions...but she just hates everything I do. I get along with the rest of the family just fine, so I don’t know what else to do. My husband doesn’t want to get involved, but I really need him to back me up. Any suggestions?
My daughter just recently came out to me. She is 16 years old and told me that she knew she was “different” since she was about 5 years old. I am totally accepting of this, but I worry that her father (my ex-husband) won’t be as accepting. He is a pastor of a large congregation and I am concerned that he will reject him. She doesn’t want me to “out” her to him until she is out of high school. I don’t feel right about this, though. I don’t like to keep secrets, but I don’t want to appear disloyal to my daughter. What should I do?
I read a lot of your answers to other people’s questions and I have found that you give very sound and healthy advice. It is my turn to ask for that advice. My Sweetheart is a nurse and is the same age as myself....56 years old.
I met her two years ago when she walked into my store, and she invited me to her church where her and her mother worship. We have been dating even since then and slowly getting closer. There seem to be some issues that are slowing down our closeness and intimacy, however.
She said that she was afraid of moving forward because of the fear of being controlled. Even though she admits that I have never controlled her but instead have always asked her what she would like to do. I adore her and cherish every thought and action from her. I love her heart, spirit and body. I believe that love is when you love someone for who they really are on the inside.
Here are a few of the symptoms that seem to be slowing us down:
1. Her fear of being controlled which is stopping her from giving ALL of her heart (due to a past husband who was controlling).
2. She hates to look into my eyes. She used to always close her eyes way before I would get close enough to kiss her. Now she slightly opens them. I have told her that she has beautiful eyes and I love it when she looks at me.
3. She does not like it if I place my arm around her from the top of her shoulders. Instead, she will quickly grab my arm and take it off of her shoulder and place it down by her side.
4. She does not like to talk about sex.
5. She zones out on me where she will stare out into nothing. When I ask her what she is thinking, she says that she is thinking of nothing.
6. She constantly bites her fingers and curls her hair while she goes into this trance. I always bring her back by asking her questions about something around us.
7. She does not like to be touched sexually, even during a long kiss (15 seconds....used to be 1 second).
After about two weeks of dating when I was over her house, she took my hand and took me to her bedroom and we made love. This went on every day for a week then all of sudden she stopped and would not even consider doing it again. I told her that I was falling in love with her and that not having sex is ok. The first time we had sex at her house when we were alone there was better than the few following times. The following times she would act like a NUN and would just sit on the edge of the bed just waiting for me to do something. She would be sitting there on the bed with just a towel on and would have both hands tucked in between her legs. Once we were in the act of making love, she would fight enjoying it and when I told her that I loved her while we were one she would react negatively and frown and did not want me to say that. When I tried to compliment her on her beautiful body, she would tell me not to talk to her like a slut.
Of course I will continue to show her lots of love and affection but what else can I do to help her heal from some abuse she experienced?
I have also found out that she does not remember her childhood except that her father was a alcoholic and would hire prostitutes. She remembers a male friend of her father's coming over to give her a oyster to eat. But she does not remember her childhood and part of her teenage life. Her father has all of her pictures and has not given them to her. I did see one picture on a video when she was about 12 years old and she was biting her fingers then, also.
Please Please help me help her. I know that I am setting aside my needs for intimacy sexually, but I am trying to build her trust. I want her to give herself to me in love not feel forced to do so. Forced sex means nothing and leaves you empty inside. Help me, Natalie, please.
This question comes from Dr. Radio on XM Radio Channel 81 where I was lucky enough to be a guest answering calls alongside Dr. Miriam Greene on Monday, May 14, 2012.
Dear Natalie,
My husband and I have been married for over thirty years. But we have had a sex-less relationship for almost the last ten years. We have almost divorced because I caught him cheating several years ago. He claims he is faithful now, though, but says that he isn’t attracted to me, anymore. I’m in my late-forties and wondering if this is it for me. Do you think I should just stay and deal with it? Who is going to want me, anyway?
My boyfriend loves to watch porn. He likes to watch it during sex, especially, which is fine once in a while, but not every night. It’s almost like I’m not good enough or something on my own. I have confronted him about this, and he promises never to do it again, but then (of course) the minute we start to have sex, the computer or television join us. It’s really annoying. What do I do to get him to give it a rest?
My husband cheats on me often. I know about it and I choose to let it go a lot of the time because we have four kids together. The times I have confronted him about it, he tells me that it’s my fault because I don’t make enough time for him and he gets lonely. He also tells me that he loves me, and that these women are “just sex”. We still have sex a few times a week together, but lately I have been feeling really down about the whole thing. I don’t want to be in a marriage where I feel so sad all the time, but we have four little kids (ages 1, 4-year-old twins, and a 7 year old) and I stay home to take care of them. Am I just stuck?
I recently discovered that my new husband cheated on me with a stripper the night of his bachelor’s party back in September. We were married a week later. He went to a strip club with his friends and apparently got laid while he was there. To say I am disgusted is a total understatement. As of now, he is sleeping on our couch and I don’t know what to do. He told me over drinks one night last week, saying he was so sorry and felt so guilty and couldn’t lie to me any longer. I had an idea that something had happened, but didn’t interrogate him about it at the time because I was so obsessed with the wedding. Now I don’t know what to do. He claims it was a one-time thing and feels like a piece of shit for hurting me (yes, we were both crying). But how can I ever trust him again? I contacted a divorce attorney yesterday to weigh my options but I am having trouble deciding what to do. Can you help?
