Two Day Magazine

Dear Natalie,

While married, I became really good friends with a guy at my work (we'll call him "Nick"). For several years, we would frequently go out for dinner, drinks, and on more than one occasion we kissed. (I know that it wasn't the smartest thing to keep doing, and I never told my husband.)

Nick confessed his feelings for me one night but said we couldn't do anything about it because I was married, and we worked together. I realized I had strong feelings all along for him, too.

Fast forward six months-- I live in another state at a new job, and I am now in the middle of getting divorced (it's amicable, and no kids). Nick knows, and we continue to text or email on a regular basis. I am certain he still likes me, but I don't want to initiate a relationship yet for fear of making him think he was the reason for my divorce (he's not) or that I see him as just a rebound (I don't).

But part of me just wants to go after what I want. Do you have any advice for how long I should wait or ways to go about trying to take this to another level?

--Ready to Move On

Dear Natalie,

I have really fallen for this guy that I have been dating now for about eight months, and I am wondering if he is “the one for me.” We get along great, we both want the same things in life, and he treats me really well. My friends keep telling me that I am moving too fast. We are already talking about living together in the very near future, and neither one of us think we are “rushing things.” Is he my soulmate? My friends are mostly married, and I’m the only one still trying to figure things out. Do you think I am moving too fast? What does a soulmate even mean? I feel really confused. Any advice would be awesome.

--One and Only

Dear Natalie,

I am 24 years old and have been married for about a year. My husband is older, he’s 32, and he’s doing really well in the banking industry. He keeps dropping hints that he really wants to have a baby, but I don’t think I’m ready. I just finished college, just got married, and I’m still not sure what I want to do with my life. He got really upset the other night, saying that “I married a woman so we could start a family, not so she could ‘find herself’.” I feel like he isn’t hearing me, and doesn’t care that I’m just not ready. How do I put off having kids with him for at least a few more years? I really wanted to just be married for a while and focus on my career. But now I’m worried if I don’t get pregnant soon, he’s going to be upset. Suggestions?

--Just Not Ready

Dear Natalie,

My daughter recently married to her high school sweetheart. I was against the marriage because they are so young, they are only 20 years old.  We haven’t spoken since the wedding, as I refused to go. I just felt that she was throwing her life away to be with this guy who has no direction, no future. Well, now I found out from my son that she is expecting a baby. I obviously want to be there for her and for my grandchild. What should I do? It’s been almost six months since the wedding and I’m not sure what to do. Any suggestions?

--Sad Mom

Dear Natalie,

My wife and I have been married for almost twelve years, and we have a pretty good relationship. Recently, a woman I used to know several years before I got married got in touch with me via Facebook. She is moving back to the city we live in and wants to get together for drinks to catch up. I told my wife, and she was livid. She claimed that this woman just wants to get with me and is insisting that I delete her contact information and de-friend her on Facebook. I think this is ridiculous. I have no intention of cheating on my wife, but I would like to catch up with this person. What do you suggest I do?

--Unexpected Issues

Dear Natalie,

My best friend has been dating someone for about six months now, and it seems to be getting really serious. I had my reservations about him, though, and I was confirmed in what I was thinking last weekend when I saw him out at a bar making out with another girl. Of course, I took a picture of this on my phone and have been debating about showing it to my best friend. I don’t think she will believe me until she sees a pic. What do you think I should do?

-Don't Shoot the Messenger

Dear Natalie,

Every time me and my girlfriend have a fight, she starts rambling about it all over social media. I’ve actually gotten into huge fights over what she posts on Twitter. It’s really obnoxious, and I want her to stop doing it. Every time we fight, it’s like she wants to start a Twitter war. How do I make it stop with her? It’s really causing major problems in our relationship.

--All-A-Twitter

Dear Natalie,

I really need some advice I been asking the same question everywhere for the past 3 years. So almost 3 years ago, this guy I really liked became my partner for a dance. We then started to get feelings for each other. We talked for a bit, but he stopped all of sudden. It hurt me soo much. Ever since then, I have always put walls up with guys when they want to be more than friends. I have tried to date other guys, but I haven't moved on because he's always in the back of my mind.

When I started going out with one of his old friends, he started asking about us all the time, and it gave me hope that he cared. Then he broke up with his girl. I’m not sure of the reason, but I feel like I ruin relationships all because of him. I do get mix signals from him still, and I want to know how he feels. Should we move on or just continue this way? My question is: Should I ask him how he feels or will it scare him off? Or how should I move on because I would love to be with him? Please respond soon I need to know!

-Limbo Land

Dear Natalie,

My partner and I have been together for seven years and recently I got an amazing job opportunity in another city. I really want to take the position, but my partner doesn’t want us to move our kids out of school and uproot their lives. While I can appreciate this, I can’t pass this up. This is my dream job.

She told me I was being selfish, and then I brought up the idea of a commuter-relationship, where I would spend the weekends with them and then Monday-Thursday stay in an apartment in the city where my new job is. My sister told me this is a terrible idea, though, and that I should just stay with my family and give up the job opportunity. I’m completely torn. Either way, I lose something important. What are your thoughts?

-Rock and a Hard Place

Dear Natalie,

My husband and I haven’t been getting along lately, and we have been having issues connecting both in and out of the bedroom. My girlfriend told me that having an open marriage could help save ours. I don’t know if I am comfortable with this idea, though, but at this point, I may be wiling to try it. I just don’t know, however, if my husband will be willing to “share” me, so to speak.

Any thoughts?

--Open and Honest

Dear Natalie,

My husband and I haven’t slept together in almost five months. His dad died five months ago and he hasn’t really recovered from it. He came out to his dad about a year before his passing and they had finally been moving into a great emotional place when his dad had a massive heart attack and died unexpectedly. I feel a lot of sympathy for him (and I miss his dad, too) but our lives need to go on. Is there anything I can do to get him out of this funk, or am I just a cold-hearted bitch for even bringing this up?

--Not Cold, Just Horny

Dear Natalie,

My daughter just got engaged. She’s 18 and her fiancé is 20. I think it is WAY too soon for them to get married; she is only just graduating high school in the spring. Her fiancé is in the military, so their plan is to marry right after she graduates so that she can live with him on the base while he works. I wanted her to go to college and she had dreams that she seems to be letting fall by the wayside. How can I convince her that it is just too soon? They only started dating a year ago.

Thanks,

Worried Mama

Dear Natalie,

I have kind of a weird question to ask. Last night in bed, my girlfriend asked me if we could role play. Sure, I don’t have any issue with that, but she wants to play the “dominant” one this time, and she said she has been fantasizing a lot about tying me up. As a man, I don’t feel comfortable with this role reversal. Usually, she’s the one that wants to be dominated, and that’s a role I feel much more comfortable in while we are in bed. I told her I didn’t want to, and she told me I was selfish. She then got up and slept on the couch. What the hell is going on? I thought our sex life was fine, but now it seems really off course. Any suggestions?

--I’m On Top

Dear Natalie,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about five months, but he still talks about his ex-girlfriend all of the time. He talks about what a bitch she was, how much he hates....he says some really awful things about her. From what I gathered, they broke up because she met someone else. I understand he’s hurt, but they broke up almost a year ago. Shouldn’t he be moving on by now? And how do I get him to stop bringing her up in the conversation? Whenever I tell him to talk about something else, he just gets mad at me and tells me that “I don’t understand what a bitch she is.” But, shouldn’t he be happy he isn’t with her, then, anymore? I don’t know how much more I can take.

---So Over It

Dear Natalie,

I've recently married my high school sweetheart. We broke up after high school for three years, in which time he dated (and slept with) many women. I only had one partner in that time frame. We got back together two years ago and have been inseperable ever since. We are so in love with each other and everything is going really well. However, since we have gotten married, I have become very uncomfortable with anything "new" in the bedroom because I feel like he has done everything and I don't know anything. What should I do? He says he doesn't care and that we have a lot of time to figure things out, but I feel a lot of pressure to perform like a porn star. Any suggestions?

-Inexperienced Newlywed