My partner and I have been together for seven years and recently I got an amazing job opportunity in another city. I really want to take the position, but my partner doesn’t want us to move our kids out of school and uproot their lives. While I can appreciate this, I can’t pass this up. This is my dream job.
She told me I was being selfish, and then I brought up the idea of a commuter-relationship, where I would spend the weekends with them and then Monday-Thursday stay in an apartment in the city where my new job is. My sister told me this is a terrible idea, though, and that I should just stay with my family and give up the job opportunity. I’m completely torn. Either way, I lose something important. What are your thoughts?
-Rock and a Hard Place
My boyfriend just proposed (yay!) However, my conservative mother and step-father don’t approve of him as husband material. He’s a writer, and works at Starbucks while going for his Master’s in English. He wants to teach at a university after he’s done. We’ve been together for three years, and I’m crazy in love with him. My parents don’t think he is “good enough” for me. My step-father is a cardiologist and my mother is a psychiatrist. They both want me to marry someone who can provide for me, especially in these tough times. But I am working on my MBA, and I think we are a perfect match. They always liked him until the proposal. My mom looked at my ring (which is beautiful) and said, “That’s it, huh?”
How do I get them to come around?
---He’s THE ONE
My girlfriend and I agreed that we weren’t going to buy each other Christmas presents this year because we are saving up for a house. However, I talked with her best friend yesterday and she told me that my girlfriend thinks that I am still going to splurge and get her something special. I don’t know what to do. She told me no gifts, and I said the same, but now she wants something? If I get her something, I feel like I will be caving in, especially since we are trying to save for a house. But, I don’t want to piss her off, either.
--Not a Grinch
I don’t have a lot of money to spend on gifts this holiday season. What are some good gift ideas under $25 that I can get for family and friends?
--Broke At Christmas
My boyfriend recently bought me a very expensive birthday present. It was a diamond necklace, worth about $5,000. About a week later, he broke up with me. He thinks I should give the necklace back to him, but I think it was a gift. I reminded him that he broke up with me, so I should keep it. It’s a gorgeous necklace and I plan on wearing it! What do you think? My best friend says I should give it back to prevent drama, but he caused the drama! Help!
---Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend
My husband and I have gone through some tough times financially over the last few years. We are considering moving in with one of our children so we can all conserve costs. She is a working single mom to a five-year-old girl and I know she could use the help, too. My friends think this is a terrible idea and that we should just rent an apartment, instead. We look at renting as a step backwards, however. We feel that if we live with our daughter for a year, we will be able to save up enough money and put a down payment on a small home. Do you think we should do this or should we just start renting and avoid wrecking our relationship with our daughter?
My girlfriend and I have been living together for about a year now, and I want to ask her to marry me. The only thing stopping me, however, is her credit card debt. I know that sounds bad, but she is about $30,000 in the hole, and I don’t want to take that on. I finally paid off my student loans and am actually making some money. How do I talk to her about this without sounding like a complete dick?
--In the Red
I was a bit taken aback when my male friend wasn't willing to pay for the movie when my teen joined us. I went ahead and paid for all three of us-but I was really a bit shocked! I have been seeing this gentleman for four months now. Should I say something or just blow it off. I thought it was really petty. He did go ahead and pay for the food and drinks at the movies, though. Am I being a big baby or not?
My boyfriend and I just split up and I am really upset about it. He totally cheated on me and I caught him. The shittiest part is, we exchanged Christmas gifts early this year because he is heading overseas to visit family. I got him a really great watch the NIGHT BEFORE I find out he has been cheating. I kind of want it back to return it (it was expensive!) Is it totally tacky to ask for it back? He leaves tomorrow and won’t be back for ten days.
--Give it Back
****This question came from my appearance on the Dr. Radio Show, Sirius XM Channel 81: The Sexual Health Hour with Dr. Miriam Greene (who is so fantastic!) on Oct. 3, 2011****
I am engaged and in a long distance relationship with a man who makes more money than me. I feel as though the power is off in the relationship. Not only does he make more money, but he also travels quite frequently for work (he is a truck driver) and is gone a good part of the week. I quit my second job to spend more time with him, and I am in school, as well. I’m 20, he is 21. He talks to whoever he wants (including a 14-year-old girl that he has been speaking to.) but doesn’t allow me to have very many friends, especially guy friends. I don’t know why I am not allowed to have guy friends, and the fact that he has so many “girl friends” is really bothering me. What should I do? I am worried I am in a controlling relationship.
If I move in to my boyfriend's apartment, should I offer to pay half of the rent? He hasn’t mentioned how we are going to split the bills and I am feeling pretty awkward about it. Any tips to make this less weird? I’m willing to contribute to the household.
My fiance and I have just moved in together and we were wondering if we should combine our incomes into one checking account or keep separate accounts? I say we should keep separate accounts, but he thinks we should combine them. Who’s right?
-His and Hers
I recently lost my job and my girlfriend has hinted that she doesn’t want to date someone that “can’t take care of himself or her.” She is a administrative assistant and doesn’t make much money and I was bringing in quite a lot more than her. But, we have been dating for over a year and it really is bothering me that she is basically threatening to end things if I don’t find employment---and soon. Am I overreacting or is she acting like an awful person?
-Unemployed and Depressed
My boyfriend and I are considering moving in together to save money. Do you think this is a good reason to live together? He seems ready, but I am a little concerned we are rushing into things...
-No More Bachelor Pad
My parents are Jewish and they are insistent that I find a wife within the community. But, I’ve had a girlfriend for years who isn’t Jewish and has no interest in converting. I want to ask her to marry me, but I know my parents are totally against it and I don’t want to hurt them. But, the clock is ticking and I want to start a family. What are your thoughts? I’m thinking if I do marry my girlfriend, my parents may cut me out of the pretty substantial inheritance I would eventually lay claim to.
-For Love or Money