Two Day Magazine

Dear Natalie,

My girl friends are worried about me. I’m a 34-year-old virgin and they think I’m either “suppressing” the fact that I am a lesbian (which I am not...I would know!) or that I hate men and that’s why I haven’t had sex yet. But, every time I try to explain to them that I am just not interested in sex, they tell me there is something “wrong” with me and that I just “don’t know what I’m missing.” But, I know what I’m missing and I have no desire to partake in it. I read an article that you had written about asexuality for another website and was wondering if that was a real thing or not? Can some people be asexual? Am I one of them?

--Sex? No Thanks

Dear Natalie,

My son just turned five and is an only child. We went to the toy store the other day and he begged me to get him a Barbie doll. He said she was pretty and he wanted to play with her. I caved and bought him one, but my husband and I had a big fight about it. He believes that by giving him a doll, we may end up “turning” him gay. I don’t know what to think, but whenever I try to take the doll from my son, he cries hysterically. I feel terribly and don’t know if made a big mistake in buying him a girl’s toy. What should I do?

---Banish Barbie

Dear Natalie,

My girlfriend is obsessed with ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ and wants to “act out” some of the scenes from the book in the bedroom. Truth of the matter is, I’m really not into kink and I told her I don’t feel comfortable roleplaying in bed. We got into a big argument about it and I don’t know exactly what I should do. I want to please her sexually, of course, but I would feel really stupid in bed doing some of the stuff they do in the book. What do you think I should do?

--Fifty Shades of Annoyed

Dear Natalie,

One of my best girlfriends recently got married and ever since, it seems nobody sees her. She had been spending less and less time with everyone before she got engaged...and once she was engaged...it was like no one saw her. But now it seems to be worse. I’m not really sure if it is my place to ask if everything is okay in her marriage...but I really miss my friend. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can get her to understand that abandoning her other relationships isn’t a healthy thing to do?

---Frustrated Friendship

Dear Natalie,

I come from a very strict Muslim home and new husband does, as well. We met in medical school and have dated for four years. We have never had sex until our wedding night and he always thought I was a virgin. Well, before I met him, while I was in undergrad, I slept with a man who I was dating. We were serious about one another and I was curious about sex. Things didn’t work out between us, however, and six months later we broke up. No one knew that I had slept with someone else except my older sister, who promised never to tell. On my wedding night, things went really well, but in the morning, he seemed angry and he confronted me about whether or not I was REALLY a virgin. I felt bad that I had lied to him, but I didn’t want my secret to be known. Now he is claiming that our relationship was fraudulent. If he leaves me, my family will be humiliated. Is there any way to reconcile this and avoid divorce? I know he loves me, I think he is just really hurt.

---Scarlet Letter

Dear Natalie,

What tips can you give to spice up a relationship that has been waning for several years now? My husband and I have been married for nineteen years and were madly in love when we met. We have had three children (ages 18, 16, and 13) since we married and it seems that we never have any alone time. We hardly have sex, but he is affectionate. I’m just exhausted all the time and sex seems like a chore. What can I do to get out of this rut?

---Keep it Together

Dear Natalie,

I’m a lesbian and have never dated men. I am 32 years old and have been living with a woman for six months that I am madly in love with. She says that she is gay, but has dated several men in the past. I know she loves me but I worry that she is going to go back to men. Sometimes, she will bring up her past and last night I asked her if she missed dating guys. She was honest, and said that she did miss it for certain reasons, but that she knows herself better now and realizes that she is a lesbian. But one of my best friends saw her out the other night with a man, but when I confronted her, but she got angry at me and said they are just friends. IF they are just friends, then why did I have to find out from a friend that she was out to dinner with some guy? Why didn’t she just tell me? Do you think she is cheating on me with a man behind my back? What should I do? I’m really worried things are falling apart.

---Know Thyself

Dear Natalie,

My boyfriend and I have been together for three months and I thought we were exclusive. But recently he told me that he slept with someone else and doesn’t seem to think there is anything wrong with this because (as he said) “We haven’t said ‘I love you’, yet.” I asked him if he did love me and he said he isn’t sure. What does this mean? I am so confused. I think I love him but now I’m just really upset. He doesn’t want to break up but he said I can’t get mad about this until we take it to the next level. What do you think? Should I just forgive him?

---The “L” Word