Two Day Magazine

Dear Natalie,

I was recently out with my boyfriend and we noticed this very overweight woman sitting near us at dinner. He started making all of these really nasty remarks about her and then said if I ever “got that fat” he would dump me. I was really taken aback by this. We started dating about two months ago and I just don’t know what to think? Now I’m really paranoid about eating in front of him. Should I tell him that he hurt my feelings or should I just let it go?

---Leah P.

Dear Natalie,

My sister has been dating someone for about a year and he popped the question recently while they were vacationing in Maui. Yes, I know, he is a big spender and I think she is blinded by it. I didn’t like him from the beginning...he is a little too charming and a little too perfect...and my suspicions were confirmed when I saw him at their engagement party. He pulled me aside (he was drunk) and told me how sexy I looked and how he wanted to take me into the back room so we could be “alone”. I flipped out at him and caused quite a scene. Now my sister won’t speak to me and they are still going through with the wedding. He claims he never said anything to me other than I looked nice. She thinks I am blowing everything out of proportion but I know a pig when I see one. What do I do? How can I get her to talk to me?

---Burst the Bubble

Dear Natalie,
 
My girlfriend and I have been living together for about a year now, and I want to ask her to marry me. The only thing stopping me, however, is her credit card debt. I know that sounds bad, but she is about $30,000 in the hole, and I don’t want to take that on. I finally paid off my student loans and am actually making some money. How do I talk to her about this without sounding like a complete dick?

--In the Red

Dear Natalie,

I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. Recently, I have noticed that he doesn’t want to have sex as much with me and has been coming home late a lot. We have lived together for about three months now and have been dating for two years. He just got a promotion at work...but I feel as though something is up. My friends think I should break into his email and see what is going on, or go through his cell, but I hate snooping. What should I do? I’m afraid to confront him. If he is cheating, it’ll be a big mess.

---Afraid to Know

Dear Natalie,

Years ago, my father and I had a big blow out fight because I came out as a lesbian. My mom died when I was small and it was always just my dad and I. I think he always knew that I was “different”, but when I finally told him the truth when I was 24, he disowned me. Five years later, he has started to call me and send me letters, begging for my forgiveness. He says that he made a mistake and wants to have a relationship with me. My wife now thinks that I should make amends with him, as we are expecting our first child together. I want him back in my life, but I have no idea how to begin the healing process. I am still so deeply hurt by him. Tomorrow is Father’s Day and I was wondering if this is the right time to call or visit? Thoughts?

---Make it Right

Dear Natalie,

I have been with my girlfriend for about six months and in that time, I have noticed that her behavior has become more and more erratic towards me. She is very emotionally unstable at times, and has even thrown things at me and hit me once. I never hit her back (I would never a woman) but I am becoming worried that the fighting is just escalating. What should I do?

--Jeff

Dear Natalie,

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a few years now and we are coming to the conclusion that (at the advice of our doctors) we may have to pursue other options. Neither of us want to do in vitro fertilization. We think that it is unnatural and unhealthy. But, our families don’t believe in adoption. This situation is causing my husband and I a lot of stress and is hurting our relationship. Do you have any advice as to how to move forward and stronger? We both are open to adoption and want to just be happy.

---Struggling Through

Dear Natalie,

My girlfriend claims that I am no longer “emotionally available” after we discussed moving in together and I told her I wasn’t ready for that. We have only been dating a year and I’m just not ready for that step. She just turned 30 and is very focused on “taking things to the next step.” I’m very focused on my career right now and am not ready for any added pressure. I love her, but how do I convince her to slow down?

---Too Much Too Soon

Dear Natalie,

My best friend has been in a bad relationship for months now and no one understands why she stays in it. I think she has low self esteem or something, but I don’t know what I can do to help her. She seems so down ever since she started dating him. She has so much going for her, no one is really sure why she is putting herself in this situation. Any ideas as to why good women stay in bad relationships?

--Just Want My Friend Back

Dear Natalie,

My sister-in-law hates me. She really loves to make my life miserable whenever I am around her family. I think she has a weird thing about me being with her brother. She acts super protective of him and occupies all of his time when the family gets together (which is often). How can I get her to like me? I try to be nice to her, I buy her children presents, I cook food for the family functions...but she just hates everything I do. I get along with the rest of the family just fine, so I don’t know what else to do. My husband doesn’t want to get involved, but I really need him to back me up. Any suggestions?

---Peacemaker