Two Day Magazine

Dear Natalie,

I just lost my virginity to my new boyfriend. I was a late bloomer, having held onto the V-card until 23. But, now that I have had sex, I LOVE IT. And, because I love it, I want to know what I can do to please my new guy in bed. I worry that my inexperience is showing through and I want him to find me exciting. Any suggestions?

--Virgin No More

Dear Natalie,

My girlfriend and I just broke up and she has been sending me these “drunk texts” about how much she misses me and wants to get back together. But then, I called her the other day and asked her if she wanted to talk and she said she had nothing to say to me. When I brought up the text messages, she just got mad and told me to stop talking about it and that it was a “mistake.” But she’s made this “mistake” like three times in the past week and a half. What should I do? I want to get back with her but my friends think she is just being a jerk. What do you think?

--Confused Guy

Dear Natalie,

My husband cheats on me often. I know about it and I choose to let it go a lot of the time because we have four kids together. The times I have confronted him about it, he tells me that it’s my fault because I don’t make enough time for him and he gets lonely. He also tells me that he loves me, and that these women are “just sex”. We still have sex a few times a week together, but lately I have been feeling really down about the whole thing. I don’t want to be in a marriage where I feel so sad all the time, but we have four little kids (ages 1, 4-year-old twins, and a 7 year old) and I stay home to take care of them. Am I just stuck?

--Sad and Alone

Dear Natalie,

My husband and I are very sexual and enjoy spicing things up in bed. But recently, I cheated (and regretted it!) and now he says that he is having a hard time having sex with me because he can’t get the fact that I lied to him and had a one night stand. We have been together for 12 years and I just want us to move on. This happened in November, and while we are still having sex, it isn’t nearly as often or as exciting. How can I get him to move beyond this so we can go back to having fun?

--Still Being Punished

Dear Natalie,

My best friend has been divorced for about six months from a guy that she said she just “made a mistake” in marrying. Well, they were only married for a year, and had only dated for a few months before getting engaged. She has already moved on and is dating a new guy that she is crazy about. I have started to develop feelings for her ex-husband and I was wondering if it is wrong to pursue this, considering she was the one that dumped him and she initiated the divorce. I’m scared to bring it up to her because I don’t want her to be angry with me. But I really like him. What should I do?

--Fearful Friend

Dear Natalie,

I’ve been dating a guy for about six months now and it seems as though things are getting pretty serious. He has mentioned wanting to move in together and I am hoping this will lead to an engagement. We are both almost 30 and I want to start a family sooner than later. However, he recently told me that he “doesn’t believe in marriage” and we ended up getting into a big argument about it. I want to be married at some point and want our children to know that we are a married couple. What do I do?

--Hard Decisions

Dear Natalie,

My girlfriend just found out she is pregnant which really excited me, as we have been together for seven years and have been wanting a baby together for some time. Recently, however, she found out that our baby has some sort of developmental issue and has no chance of surviving. She is about 4 months pregnant. She has scheduled an abortion for this week that her doctor has urged her to undergo, and she is devastated. We are both in our mid-thirties and this was an exciting moment for us. How can I be there for her during this time? I don’t know what to do and all she seems to do lately is cry. I feel terrible. Any thoughts? Whenever I try consoling her or telling her that we will try again she just tells me that I have no idea what she’s going through and to leave her alone.

--Sad Loss

Dear Natalie,

I recently discovered that my new husband cheated on me with a stripper the night of his bachelor’s party back in September. We were married a week later. He went to a strip club with his friends and apparently got laid while he was there. To say I am disgusted is a total understatement. As of now, he is sleeping on our couch and I don’t know what to do. He told me over drinks one night last week, saying he was so sorry and felt so guilty and couldn’t lie to me any longer. I had an idea that something had happened, but didn’t interrogate him about it at the time because I was so obsessed with the wedding. Now I don’t know what to do. He claims it was a one-time thing and feels like a piece of shit for hurting me (yes, we were both crying). But how can I ever trust him again? I contacted a divorce attorney yesterday to weigh my options but I am having trouble deciding what to do. Can you help?

-Betrayed Bride

Dear Natalie,

My boyfriend and I have a great relationship, but there is one problem. His ex. They have a baby together, and their daughter is six years old. His daughter lives with him because his ex is crazy and has a drug problem. But that’s not my issue. My issue is the way his ex treats me. I’m very loving with his daughter and we have a lot of fun together, but his ex is constantly berating me and is (I think) jealous of the fact that his daughter prefers me over him. We have been together for three years and I believe the relationship is heading towards marriage. So what should I do? I can’t marry the guy if his ex is a destructive force in my life, but I also love him and his daughter and don’t want to break it off. But I can’t go on like this, either. She is in my face at least once a week about the situation and it has got to stop. She lost custody two years ago because of her drug problem and she won’t seek help. What do I do? My boyfriend has washed his hands of her, but he also doesn’t “get involved” when she attacks me. Any suggestions?

--Ruining Everything

Dear Natalie,

My husband and I have been married for about two years now. The passion in our relationship used to be really intense, but after two kids, things have simmered down. I have been interested in spicing things up, but he seems pretty content with our routine sex twice a week. But I’m bored. I need something more. How do I tell him that I’m not satisfied sexually without hurting him? I love him and I’m attracted to him. But I need spontaneity in my life!

--Bring the Heat

Dear Natalie,

I have been friends with someone for seven or eight years now. We used to be really tight when we were both single and working in corporate America together. The problem is, she was always a very competitive, very negative person and our personalities often clashed. Recently, within the last two years, I have quit my job at a large bank in the city, got married, and had a baby. My husband makes enough money that I can afford to take a few years off to be at home with our baby. Well, since I have gotten married, she has become really bitter and mean towards me. We still hang out, but I find myself less and less interested in speaking with her. Now, I know you answer a lot of questions about breaking up with a lover, but how do you break up with a friend? I’m over her nastiness.

--Breaking Free

Dear Natalie,

My fiancee and I are planning on getting married in the fall and we are running into a few problems. She comes from a very large, Christian family and I come from a large, Hindu family. Her family wants a big, traditional wedding, and my family wants our beliefs incorporated into the ceremony, as well. It is causing major tension between our mothers. Both of us aren’t very religious, but we want to please our families and so we were thinking of having two separate ceremonies, but her parents are complaining that this will cost too much and they won’t come. How do we remedy this situation? We are really stressed out about this.

---Torn Apart