Two Day Magazine

Dear Natalie,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now. Things have been rocky from time to time but I was feeling really happy with our relationship... until recently. I've started to become annoyed with him and it's basically for one reason: I feel like he has become really lazy within our relationship. I understand that we are comfortable with each other (and in a lot of ways I really like that), but certain things are really starting to irk me. He never takes me out on dates anymore. He will if I ask him to, but never suggests it on his own. That really bothers me. Another issue is he has been just lazy with his appearance. He used to work out all the time and never does anymore (and I would never break up with him because of that alone, but it's part of the larger problem). Additionally, he used to always shower right before I came over to his place. Now, it is not at all uncommon for him to be unshowered and just so sloppy looking. What do you think I should do?

---Had Enough

Dear Natalie,

My friend is a really sweet woman, attractive and easy to be around. She is 25-years-old and literally hasn’t been kissed up until recently. She claims she has focused all of her energy and time into school and work over the years, and didn’t have a burning desire to meet men or to date. Well, all of that changed recently when she actually met a man that she liked. They went out on a few dates and finally, she got that kiss. But it wasn’t good. In fact, the guy remarked to her that he hadn’t realized that literally she had never been kissed. I guess he thought she was exaggerating. Well, this has made her feel incredibly insecure about taking things to the next step with him, physically. She is afraid that since she has never touched a man, let alone had sex with one, that he is going to be incredibly disappointed and lose interest. How can I help her get in touch with her inner sex kitten and start having some fun?

---Kiss and Tell

Dear Natalie,

A few months ago I was in a motorcycle accident. Had no major physical injuries other than a traumatic brain injury that I am in rehab for (I have been told that I may take as much as a year of outpatient rehab). 

One of the first people I remember seeing after the amnesia subsided about 5 weeks after the accident was my girlfriend of a few months (around 3 months pre-accident). I found out that she had been bedside EVERY day since my accident -  I apparently didn't remember her name but I knew we had an intimate relationship, as I've been told.

Pre-accident, we had talked about a trip in the spring to Spain and Italy. I had been thinking about proposing in Italy (I knew exactly the place I wanted to propose). When I found out about her dedication to me, I proposed from my hospital bed (and told her I would owe her a ring).

She seemed very happy, and there was no hesitation in her positive answer. A few weeks later, however, she asked that the engagement "be put on hold", so that I could concentrate 100% on my healing/rehab. As in, I shouldn't consider her my fiance any more. A few weeks after that, when I had been asking some questions about the state of our relationship (it isn't physical right now, for instance), and I asked about my proposal, I found out that she considered it somewhat unfair, that "no woman whose boyfriend had just come out of a coma would ever answer no to a proposal."

So now, I'm not sure even where our relationship is. She still tells me she loves me almost every day, but we have no physical relationship, and she won't make any plans (marriage unrelated) past a few weeks in advance,

So I have two questions,  I guess.  Was she correct that my marriage proposal was "unfair"? Also, does this relationship have a future?

Thanks

-TBI Survivor

Dear Natalie,

My sister and I are incredibly competitive. We have always been this way. We are two years apart, and I’m older. She is convinced that I am always trying to “one-up” her and I feel as though she is just a jealous bitch most of the time. Our parents are older now and hate that we fight a lot. I am seriously trying to better our relationship, and I want to go to counseling. I think a lot of our issues stem from our childhood in which she was the “favorite” of my father’s. To this day, I still feel resentful. She, in turn, feels as though I have always been mean to her and that my mother takes my side. What do I do? We are both in our twenties now and I don’t want it to be like this forever, especially now because I am expecting my first child with my husband. I haven’t told her yet.

--Sister Drama

Dear Natalie,

My best friend and his wife are divorcing after ten years together. No one saw this coming and my wife and I have become very close with his wife, as well, over the years. Will we be able to stay friends with both of them without things getting awkward? Would love some insight.

---In Shock

Dear Natalie,

I started dating a woman who has a lot of money. I mean A LOT of money. And she is very adamant about keeping me around. So much, in fact, that she wants to give me a weekly allowance of sorts. The issue is (I know, this is weird) that I feel she is just using me to get back at her ex-girlfriend. We always go to business events, where I know her ex will be. She flaunts me. I feel really weird about the situation. Am I being paranoid or am I basically arm candy for hire?

---Sweet Thang

Dear Natalie,

My husband seriously needs to lose weight. He has been steadily gaining weight since we got married, which was about three years ago. Granted, we are both overweight, but I started a resolution to lose 40 pounds this year and he needs to at least lose 60...which I have told him. How can I motivate him to work out and eat better? I do all the cooking, and lately we have been fighting about the meals I have been making. He tells me that I am just in a “phase” and doesn’t see how serious I am about getting healthy. How can I convince him otherwise?

---Get Skinny

Dear Natalie,

My husband has been suffering from depression, anxiety, nervous breakdowns for a few years now; since before we've met. This past weekend he had anxiety which lead to a nervous breakdown on Monday.

I was out running errands on Monday and received a call from him saying, "I was just there, I picked up some stuff and I'm staying at my parents."

I was completely surprised and shocked. He stated that he had a breakdown, had heart palpitations and wanted to be away from me until he got better. He came Wednesday picked up more stuff and said he was unsure if he'd sign the lease for the coming year since "he didn't even know where he was standing."

He leaves. A couple hours later he calls and says, that he “hopes we can work things out once he gets better, I love you!" I don't call him, I allow him to be.  My opinion is that he needs his space. I get it!  But why leave me out in the cold like that? And please, not signing the lease as if I didn't need a roof over my head?

He called yesterday morning and said he was going to the Dr. for more medication. He missed me and wanted to say hi. I'm completely taken aback from the entire situation. I purchased a one-way ticket to Hawaii to clear my head. Should I still be here waiting for him when he returns? Who walks out on their family like that? What if we'd had children? I can't fathom his selfishness.

I'm hurt, offended by his actions. I'm sure he's hurt and offended that I don't call asking him to come home, or checking up on him periodically; he left, he did this.

Thank You!

-Confused Love

Dear Natalie,

I just started dating this new guy and I find myself falling really hard for him. We haven’t had “the talk” yet about our status, but I was thinking that I could just start introducing him as my boyfriend and see what happens. What do you think?

---Next Step

Dear Natalie,

I recently had a baby and my life has, of course, changed. But my husband still does exactly what he did before we had the baby. He entertains clients at dinner and attends sporting events with friends. It doesn’t really seem fair. I don’t mean to be a whiner, but it would be nice to escape for a night every week with my friends, too. Am I being a jerk or do I have a valid point? How do I get him to see my perspective and help me out more?

---Baby Blues

Dear Natalie,

I have been dating a girl for about a month now and we have had sex a few times. I use a condom every time, but I was wondering if it would be wrong to ask her if she is on the pill. I hate using condoms and would rather not. But is it too soon to ask?

--J.R.

Dear Natalie,

I recently lost my fiance to another woman and since then, I have been on a streak of dating “bad boys.” But one in particular has started to get under my skin. He is a really good looking guy, has a good job, is great in bed, but he is a total jerk. He stands me up half the time, he only wants to meet up for sex, and he clearly has no interest in taking things to the next level. He can be rude, self-centered and obnoxious. I won’t let my friends meet him, but I find myself falling for him. I’m a mess. Any suggestions as to how to get out of this “bad boy” cycle?

---Good Girl Gone Bad

Dear Natalie,

My sister’s marriage is ending and I can’t say I am unhappy about it. He was an emotionally abusive jerk. The problem is, she is starting to give in a little bit and has been telling me that she may take him back. He cheated on her with a friend of hers about three months ago, and she was determined to divorce him, but now I’m not sure. He has been trying to win her back ever since. I think she is just scared of being alone after 8 years of being together. She’s very sensitive about this subject and I don’t want to push her away. But I can’t stand seeing her like this and I don’t want her to get back with him. How do I approach this?

--Stay Strong

Dear Natalie,

I was a bit taken aback when my male friend wasn't willing to pay for the movie when my teen joined us. I went ahead and paid for all three of us-but I was really a bit shocked! I have been seeing this gentleman for four months now. Should I say something or just blow it off. I thought it was really petty. He did go ahead and pay for the food and drinks at the movies, though. Am I being a big baby or not?

--Who Pays?

Dear Natalie,

I haven’t had a boyfriend in a while and I am seriously scared of approaching guys. I am so worried of getting rejected. The last two times I have tried asking guys out (that I THOUGHT liked me!) they both flat out rejected me. I’m embarrassed and don’t want to hear any more “no’s” from guys, but I’m lonely. Can you help?

--Just Say YES