There is a disturbance in the force.
Something strange has been happening to our celebrity relationships. From the dissolution of the Xenon sanctified union of TomKat to the real life Bella and Edward’s relationship going through its own turmoil--things are not looking good for love in Hollywood.
The epic fallout of the latter relationship comes as a surprise to many people, especially considering the numerous public appearances both Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been making in order to promote their newest film Breaking Dawn: Part 2. The kicker is that they both seemed pretty solid and happy throughout the interviews and press tours, and now, well, not so much.
There are two kinds of celebrity breakups, the ones that are destined to fail due to their whirl wind romances, hasty engagements, and general dramatics (Katy Perry and Russell Brand) and those who sneak up on us out of nowhere--the relationships that seemed so solid, but dissolve so quickly overnight, leaving everyone to wonder, what the hell happened?! They made such beautiful babies! (Seal and Heidi Klum).
This, of course, mirrors what we see in the real world. Contrary to popular belief, celebrities are in fact human beings. People get together and break up for a near infinite number of reasons, from your mutual love of totally owning people on Scrabble or your mathematically calculated compatibility rate, the ways to “fall in love“ are endless.
Ironically though, sometimes the Scrabble lovers stay together forever, while the person you met on MyChristianMatchChemistry.com turns out to be cheating on you with her neighbor’s cat.
Sometimes, it feels like the ones who should stay together never do, and the ones that won’t stop calling you to unload about their unhappy relationship that should end but never does due to what you suspect is a residual effect of some sort of unresolved daddy issue seemingly lasts FOREVER.
Some couples are so dysfunctional that it’s hard to even understand how they got together in the first place. These relationships run on a combustion engine of drama and neediness so strong that it makes those who come into their path develop symptoms similar to that of the common flu; being around them makes you lethargic, easily nauseous, and gives you a recurring headache.
And then there are the relationships that are peaceful, functional, and healthy--that unexpectedly implode; usually when you’re all together for a night out on the town via a drunken confession to “totally banging your boss’ new personal assistant and I’m not sorry because I’ve been feeling RESTLESS and YOU DON‘T HOLD ME LIKE YOU USED TO!”
Which five minutes later turns into them crying into your shoulder about how they are sorry, which prompts them to attempt to beg for their now spurned partners forgiveness by singing “Baby Come Back” at the karaoke bar next door, dedicating the performance to “the love of my goddamn life, baby, I’m sorry!”
So why is it that these beautiful, normal couples in our lives randomly combust in epic, jager bomb fueled nuclear fallouts?
Well, actually, it was something that Kristen Stewart said during an interview a while ago that gave me a little insight into why these kinds of things happen. Last month, when being interviewed for a piece for Elle magazine, she said something very, very interesting about her life and her desire for something terrible to happen in it.
“I feel boring. I feel like, 'Why is everything so easy for me?' I can't wait for something crazy to f–king happen to me. Just life. I want someone to f–k me over! Do you know what I mean?"
And then, not too much time passes before she gets herself involved with an older married man with children, royally screwing up his life and her own in the process.
So many of us would be so happy to make the kind of money that she makes, to be dating the person that she’s dating, to be doing the kind of work that she’s doing…Yet, she purposely tried to destroy arguably the most important aspect of her life, the person who has been with her/has loved her for the past four years.
By doing this she has soiled her public reputation, unleashed the wrath of the Twihards (arguably, the worst fate anyone has to endure, for they are numerous, crafty, and are spry enough so as to commit crimes then dash from the scene, whilst looking cute and innocent despite their cunning and malevolent intentions!) and has earned the worst possible reputation any woman in Hollywood can ever bear--that of a “home wrecker.”
Years and years after Brat Pitt and Jennifer Anniston broke up, Angelina is still known better for supposedly breaking up their marriage rather than the fact that she’s an Oscar winning actress. It’s a label that will stay with her 'til the end of time. He will recover, but she never will. Why? It’s anyone’s guess, but I think it has something to do with the fact that she’s a girl and should therefore “know better,” but I digress…
And she knowingly did this, this terrible thing that will follow her for a long, long time, because she was bored?
No one can really know, I certainly don’t claim to have any of the answers as I know nothing about her/have never seen her outside of a theater…But it makes you wonder, do people need a certain amount of conflict in their lives? Could that be the reason behind this terrible decisions, a genuine need for something bad to happen? Most of us desire peace and happiness, yet when we are presented with it, oftentimes we can become restless and self-destructive.
Perhaps it’s notion that we have to destroy our own happiness before anyone else gets to it first. Or maybe it’s just that some people thrive off of conflict, it stimulates them, and occupies their mind.
Either way, it’s a bad habit that needs to be curbed. In many cases, we just don’t understand how lucky we are. So we say that we want conflict; but we really don’t need to want it, because it finds its way into our lives whether we ask for it or not.
If you’re happy, just be happy. What we don’t realize is that when we destroy something that makes us happy, is that it has other repercussions; it affects more than just us. In our quest to make life more exciting, or to perhaps protect ourselves, we bring pain on the people who never wanted or asked for it; casualties in our quest for the exhilaration that apparently comes from self-destruction.
There’s a million tangents that can come off of this. From the modern fear of commitment, to the fact that we are a society with an increasingly short attention span, to the idea that tumultuous relationships are presented as more of an ideal now than they ever have been, a girl could go on forever.
But I think it really boils down to this: Don’t be selfish with your happiness. The way you act influences the countless people around you; being happy in life is made possible by the things and people around you, and by abusing them and throwing them away, you may set yourself up for a life that may never again be boring...or for that matter, happy.
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Like this article? Mia Bencivenga writes a weekly column exclusively for twoday magazine. Check out some of her more recent pieces below: