It’s Friday and that can only mean one thing:
Another week has gone by and you are no closer to achieving any of your life goals. Also, it means another edition of The Hollywood Outsider, twodaymag’s weekly look at the complex world of news and pop culture.
This week has been a busy one for the nation as it celebrated its 236th birthday (just make sure you tell it that it doesn’t look a day over 152, it’s surprisingly self conscious), and the recent ruling on health care has both sides of the political isle are arguing the definition of the word “tax.”
“How is it a tax?” argues one side, “It’s just money the government makes you pay. How do you not see the difference?”
Then the other side’s all like, “We need to repeal this!” and then when asked about what it should be replaced with they respond, “I don’t know, someone will come up with something... probably.”
Strap in ladies and gentleman, this week we’re fearlessly diving into the deep end of the crazy pool.
And there’s no lifeguard on duty.
One of the Outsider’s old coworkers from his days at the Gap owes him $20 (if only he could remember who it was. If you’re reading this, pay up!). It appears the celebrity super-couple Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes - known in the media as Tatie - are at the end of their marital rope.
While the Outsider sees celebrity divorces to be about as interesting as The Westminster Plowing Competition, since it’s so commonplace, a report about a couple staying together would be far more rare. He could still see how this would be interesting to some people so he did his due diligence and started researching the story, and found something interesting.
The deeper the outside one dug the more he actually found this to be an important story.
Katie Holmes is showing herself to be much more than another pretty girl who is fed up with Tom Cruise’s bullshit, she has become sort of a holy warrior.
Cruise is a high ranking member of the Church of Scientology, a religion started by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard which claims that humanity has been endowed with the souls of lost aliens and that’s why we get sad.
Holmes joined the church when she married Cruise, but her family was never really big on the idea. Probably because when someone becomes a member of Scientology, they are encouraged to completely cut off any family or friends that might hold a negative view of the church. One more sign that Scientology is more of a cult than a mere worldview. If one believes he knows the truth, dissent should be encouraged for it will only make one’s statement stronger. That’s the way actual science works, unlike silly things like Scientology which tries to silence critics rather than address them.
Here’s the thing, you are free to believe pretty much whatever you want, but that freedom is a two sided coin; the other being we all get the freedom to make fun of each other’s beliefs. Whether it’s the Hebrew God that murders children (Exodus 12:12), The Christian God that has an irrational hatred of figs (Mark 11: 12-14), the Mormon Magic Underwear, the Muslim God that encourages the killing of gay people, or the Scientologist... well pretty much all of Scientology. You get the idea...
(NOTE: Did you notice that the only above example you took issue with was the religion you subscribe to? Funny how that works).
Another thing that could have irked Holmes, according to ex-church official Marty Rathburn, is that she has most likely been watched closely by the church ever since getting together with Cruise. All of their house staff are church members who fear the church more than they fear Cruise, so most likely everything they have done has been monitored by church officials. This is usually done to find some kind of trash that can be used for blackmail and other forms of control. They tend to mostly do this to people trying to leave the church.
It seems you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
As crazy as the Scientology belief system is, in the early 2000’s it was one of the most feared and powerful organizations in America, mostly because it had managed to attract some of the more powerful and influential members of society. The church was able to go after anybody that reported negatively on it and legally crush all that opposed it. No one understood that more than Cruise’s other ex, Nicole Kidman.
Kidman never really took to Scientology, and when Cruise hit her with the divorce, the church bigwigs saw that she lost custody of her children. The church - using a church consoler - actually turned the two children AGAINST Kidman by feeding them false information about their mother.
Since then, the power of the church has decreased quite a bit due to a lot of top members dissenting, which has allowed Holmes to take a different approach.
She waited until Tom was locked down in Iceland shooting a movie. She fired Tom’s niece who worked for her at her clothing line, then she hired two of the best attorneys in this business who have a history of fighting things out in the media, and asked for sole custody of their daughter Suri (the person, not the iphone thing). All this means if Cruise or the church try to fight back, a lot of things the church would want to stay out of the public will go public in a BIG way.
Add that to Rupert Murdoch recently tweeting that he found Scientology to be evil and somewhat creepy, has all but informed every reporter at News Corp that Scientology is no longer off limits.
Holmes could possibly be the person that completely exposes Scientology and sends it further into the margins of society. And that legacy is way more awesome than being remembered as, “that chick from Dawson’s Creek.”
One final note: because twodaymag is an internet publication, and church rules forbid members of Scientology to read any article on the internet that casts the church in a negative light, no Scientologist is therefore allowed to refute The Hollywood Outsider in any way. If he or she does, the Outsider will totally tell on you.
They’re kind of like the Amish in that way.
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John Dupra writes "The Hollywood Outsider" exclusively for twoday magazine every Friday. Catch up on some of his previous articles here: